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Newest Member: BushGirl

Wayward Side :
Things that every WS needs to know


Aubrie ( member #33886) posted at 7:39 AM on Saturday, July 7th, 2012


"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

posts: 7926   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2011
id 5915519

heartstabber ( member #34079) posted at 6:29 PM on Sunday, July 22nd, 2012


Me: WW
Married: 15 years
DD: November 2011

Let's eat Grandma. Let's eat, Grandma. Commas save lives.

posts: 164   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2011
id 5937464

PanicAttack53 ( member #34195) posted at 8:23 PM on Sunday, July 29th, 2012


Me-BH Her-XWW | B/ 59 on D-day (11/17/11) | D final on 10/1/13 I'm Lovin' life again!
Rest of the story really doesn't matter any more.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have.” ― Eckhart Tolle

posts: 926   ·   registered: Dec. 13th, 2011   ·   location: Midwest
id 5948148

MC_Jack ( member #35016) posted at 6:03 PM on Monday, July 30th, 2012

Thank you

I am not a marriage counselor. I chose "MC Jack" because I like the Music City. I did not know what MC stood for on this site. Duh.

posts: 1014   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2012   ·   location: Mountain West
id 5949316

BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 12:47 PM on Tuesday, July 31st, 2012


WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 5950340

BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 3:57 PM on Sunday, August 12th, 2012


WH - 49
BW - gerrygirl

posts: 6125   ·   registered: Dec. 19th, 2009   ·   location: Tri-Cities
id 5968257

She-Ra ( member #36033) posted at 1:23 AM on Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

bump for HH

Former story began here July 2012
We were mad-hatters. I was a WW first then a BS. Separated May 2017. 2 kids.

Met my new beginning May 2019 just discovered his EA Oct 2020 4 days after we bought a house

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2012
id 5991747

longroadhome ( member #32428) posted at 6:27 PM on Friday, August 31st, 2012

Bump for the newbies.

Me: WH
Her: BW, and the most amazing, beautiful person I've ever known

It is counterintuitive really... the less we defend our well-being, the more well we feel. ~ Nancy Colier

posts: 547   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2011
id 5998200

SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 4:19 PM on Sunday, September 2nd, 2012

This is fantastic!!! Thank you! thank you! My Bs and I looked it over last night and I got a lot out of it!! Thanks again

[This message edited by broevil at 10:54 AM, September 2nd (Sunday)]

FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

posts: 1168   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: 221B
id 6000657

scangel3 ( member #36164) posted at 11:08 AM on Friday, September 14th, 2012


BS-me 31, WH-31, M'd-10 years
DD 10, DS 7, DS 6.5
Dday 03/01/10 (our DD's bday)
A ended 08/31/10-09/02-10 (with multiple ddays in between).TT on 08/2012, 09/04/12, 11/16/2012, 01/2013, 6/25/2013 Says he wants R, but not proving it

posts: 718   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2012   ·   location: Portland
id 6018553

Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 5:50 PM on Thursday, September 20th, 2012


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6026595

sinnomore ( new member #36800) posted at 2:35 AM on Saturday, September 22nd, 2012

Spot on!. Read this a while ago & it resonated with me. Still find I need to come back to it. I feel I've done all that's in this post...its up to him to decide..& yes I may find really is a dealbreaker


Me - WW-40's
Him - BS-40's
Married 20 years, together 24

posts: 28   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6028928

hathnofury ( member #32550) posted at 6:10 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2012

Bumping because I referred to it in my post in JFO today.

BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

posts: 1503   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2011
id 6031765

Diva0702 ( member #32309) posted at 11:05 PM on Tuesday, September 25th, 2012

Two and a half years on and working on it, I stumbled on this and admire its profound statement of truth...

Me: BW 53
Him: FWH 47
4 wonderful grown children
2 beautiful grandchildren
Married 20 years
Together 23 years
Dday March 10 2010. 4 yr A.
Me: RGN(ret), N.Dip.,BA(Psych),MA (Psych),BA Music.
OW: 55 year old taxi driver

posts: 333   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2011   ·   location: UK
id 6033872

SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:16 PM on Sunday, October 7th, 2012


BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson

posts: 15429   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2010   ·   location: The Great White North USA
id 6050881

QVee ( member #34670) posted at 5:40 PM on Sunday, October 7th, 2012

My WH has been doing the right things since DDay, but I had him read this a few weeks ago, and it was miraculous. After reading it he actually cried (my H never cries!) and apologized to me again. It's really helped him understand my rollercoaster ride of emotions.

Thank you for posting this.

"Plan for the worst, hope for the best"

posts: 330   ·   registered: Jan. 29th, 2012   ·   location: Mordor
id 6050965

Sleepless22 ( member #36580) posted at 2:42 AM on Monday, October 8th, 2012

I sent this to my WH and he started crying today. Thank you so much for posting this. I think he may finally get it.

Me-BS 36 Him- WH 38
4 Kids 13, 8, 5, and 2
DD1: 12/2/09-PA
DD2: 05/25/12-EA
Status: Reconciling
My life needs editing. Mort Sahl

posts: 155   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Crazy Town
id 6051503

SurprisinglyOkay ( member #36684) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, October 8th, 2012

This really is fantastic!

FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

posts: 1168   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: 221B
id 6051982

justanotherjoe ( new member #37076) posted at 8:16 AM on Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

Thank you so much for this post...I copied and pasted it for my WW to read..I only hope she does and it really makes sense enough to her to apply it. We've been up and down about what can be done to reconcile and be happy. I've blamed myself and all my emotions for us not being able to be "us" again. Now with this insight we've another tool in our toolbox to work with..thank you again.

ME= BH /Active Duty Army 30yrs old

WW= Homemaker (now after over 10 A's)26 yrs old

1 6 yr old daughter

10 D days in the last 4 months.

It does nothing more than insult the dead when you treat life carelessly.

posts: 4   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2012   ·   location: USA
id 6054737

tired girl ( member #28053) posted at 6:35 AM on Thursday, October 11th, 2012


Me 47 Him 47 Hardlessons
DS 27,25,23
D Day's becoming less important as time moves on.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt
My bad for trying to locate remorse on your morality map. OITNB

posts: 7444   ·   registered: Mar. 26th, 2010   ·   location: Inside my head
id 6056229
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