Topic is Sleeping.
DoofusMcDoofus ( new member #82967) posted at 10:52 PM on Tuesday, August 15th, 2023
At the end of the day,I believe people cheat simply because they can. I am sorry this happened to you. Being at the 6 month mark, obviously you were starting to assess if there was a future with this guy. I'm sorry as that does sting. I had a similar duration relationship with similar circumstances with a woman I mt at a Cheap Trick concert in 1987. How ironic as she turned out to be a cheap trick herself.
I hope you do understand, that regardless, you did nothing wrong. It makes you angry of course, that he really has no answers, but please consider yourself lucky that he showed his true colors after 6 months. Imagine had you been living with him or married and had a child with him before finding this out. Please take time for yourself.
'tis better to have an end with horror than a horror without end
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:08 PM on Wednesday, August 16th, 2023
It doesn’t matter WHY he stopped answering you. The point is he’s "that guy" who really only cares about himself.
He cheated.
He gave you some answers to questions.
Then he disappeared.
I think as the initial shock wears off you will see he’s a mirage. The good guy was a cover up for the lowlife disrespectful lying cheating guy he really is.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 10:42 PM on Wednesday, August 16th, 2023
The word narcissist is used too often but occasionally a ws comes across at having many of the traits of one. It would take an expert to diagnose him but even without that he is so close to behaving like one. Please understand that his skills to seduce others is to feed his own ego. His ability to love appears to be about 1/100 inches deep. He can’t keep up the false front for long so that is why he is able to move on so quickly. You were a thing to him. Other people are things to him to use, abuse and discard. You love a person who is not real. If you can pull yourself up to get a birds eye view you can see how good at fooling people he is. It is not going to stop your pain but it might allow you to move on faster.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
Nancy45 (original poster new member #83497) posted at 11:31 PM on Wednesday, August 16th, 2023
I've wondered if it's true narcissism or just a selfish person who also has an inability to handle interpersonal relationships due to other aspects of mental illness. Having known this person, I would say its the latter. Although I'll never know.
I have gotten 2 apologies from old cheating exes. They both admitted they were selfish. I asked one how it was that he was able to ignore my pain. He replied that it was willful ignorance and self sabotage but that over time once he thought about my feelings, he realized he couldn't be more wrong and is suffering thinking about his actions.
The one that I wrote this forum post about, did apologize to me and said he owes me an amends greater than he ever could. To me, he's not a true narcissist to be able to say that. However,I feel that if he really wanted to make that amends, he would at least attempt it. It is a lazy and selfish person who doesn't attempt to make their wrongs right.
Yes, these people are liars and manipulators so we can never really know what's sincere, but I do think there's more to it behind these twisted minds.
[This message edited by Nancy45 at 11:45 PM, Wednesday, August 16th]
Topic is Sleeping.
