SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

On December 28th several years ago my world fell apart when I discovered the affair. With 3 young kids and heartbreak, I thought I would die. I literally thought my heart would stop. Life felt black as I eventually would find out it was the tip of the ice berg. I battled through depression, PTSD, broken dreams, judgement, guilt, fear, anger and pretty much any negative feeling including feeling like I was better off dead. I wish I had died many times and asked God to take me. He had other plans. After counseling, support groups, church and so on, trying R, eventually I navigated a painful divorce that I would not wish on anyone I hated. So where am I now after all of this pain and trauma? What happened after hope felt so far away or like it did not even exist? What happened after I did not love myself after emotional and physical abuse and rejection? I even thought about cutting my wrist once and many times lay on the floor weeping and having a panic attack or not being about to get out of my car crying just sitting in the grocery store parking lot. After being married to a complete liar that broke my heart and shattered my life?

After being afraid and broke in a scary way...I have re-established my career and am making 6 figures as a single mom. I am a home owner that just bought myself a brand new car that I saved up for a long time. I navigated the divorce and got the better end of it. My kids are absolutely thriving. They have done well in school and are achieving their dreams, including my oldest in college. We have established a new normal where they see their mom stand up for herself and them. I feel free and I love myself. I try to help others and am there for my friends whose lives are falling apart with empathy and compassion. I have new dreams and feel completely SAFE. I am confident and will not allow anyone to treat me poorly. I take care of my health and look great for my age. Men hit on me all the time and I have dated someone who cares for me and my kids. It was NOT hard at all to find a man who found it to be a privilege to be in my life and could not believe what my H passed up. He has listened to my distrust and been with me in my tears. God has restored broken pieces in my heart. I will never be the same person that I was before and I still have times of sadness. I have scars. It is hard sometimes and I get tired. I have accepted that my future will not be what I thought it would be. I have accepted that I could not save my H or my marriage. I have accepted it all happened and that I have survived. Most importantly, I did not stop and give up in the desert of pain and fear when I felt life hurt and I could not breath anymore.

You are stronger than you think you are. You can recover. You can find hope again. You can heal even if there will always be pain points. You can find some peace and joy and will smile again. You are worth the fight to love yourself and people love you. You are better off on this earth and really feel I need to tell you this as I have a friend that took her life in the low season when there was a higher season around the corner. I have made it to the other side and you can too.

Thank you for posting such a positive life story. I am only almost 4 months out from my DDay but am already feeling lots of hope and positivity, even though I am still working through the pain. We will always have the scars, and none of us will ever be the same, but we can end up stronger and more resilient after making it through the fire and that’s a good thing no matter what the outcome of our marriages. I wish you continued peace and success in your journey.

Your story sounds a lot like mine.Right now I’m in the process of divorcing my wife hopefully I will have a life like you described at the end of this dark tunnel I’m in at the moment.Thank you for sharing your story it lifted my spirits that there’s hope and success on the other end of this hellish journey that wasn’t foreseen in my lifetime.Im sure others will appreciate it too, good luck with all that you do.

A lot of key words and phrases here:

For one "Journey" is absolutely correct. To go on a journey you need a couple of things, like you need to know where you are, you need to set off and you need to have some idea where to head. The clearer your destination, the quicker and easier the trip might be.

There is no "my random, meandering and stagnant wait from shattered to restored". It is a journey.

You are stronger than you think you are. You can recover. You can find hope again. You can heal even if there will always be pain points. You can find some peace and joy and will smile again. You are worth the fight to love yourself and people love you.

So true. The only thing I might add is that those pain-points – well we all probably have a gazillion pain-points, and they are called "experience". The benefit of those pain-points is that by having them and having experienced them we are in a better position to avoid them in the future.

You are better off on this earth and really feel I need to tell you this as I have a friend that took her life in the low season when there was a higher season around the corner.

I too have a close friend and family member who thought he was doing everyone a favor with suicide. He did no one a favor, least of all himself. There is always hope and always a chance and always an option while you still draw breath.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:02 PM, Thursday, February 13th]

Thank you for sharing your encouraging story of hope.

I wish you much success, happiness, and joy.