So I’ve had a bad couple of days. No reason in particular, everything is still going fine, I guess the bad days are just part of it. Lots of mind movies and comparisons between myself and the AP. Can’t seem to stay away from her Instagram!
IC was going well and we had just changed the focus from my relationship to myself which I was really excited about, but my therapist has stopped replying to messages and during our last session couldn’t really offer much help even though I felt the problems I was bringing would be basic for a therapist? I don’t know.
I was wondering if anyone had book recommendations that are maybe not specifically focused on recovering from infidelity but more on issues like self esteem and having more confidence in social situations.
I’m a huge introvert, very closed off. The word ‘reserved’ has been politely used by employers in the past.
I find the biggest comparison I make between myself and AP is that she seems very outgoing, very social, and very confident. Not that I’m trying to be like her but those are qualities that I would like to have. I struggle with small talk and social boundaries in that I don’t know what’s okay to ask and what’s not if that makes sense. I’m trying really hard at work but find I usually wait for people to come to talk to me and ask me questions, and then I get embarrassed because I feel like I’m just talking about myself. I really struggle with getting caught up in what people might think of me, to the point that I not only hide when I’m annoyed/upset about something, but also when I’m happy or excited too.
I’m going to a gig with my partner soon and a group of his friends, some I’ve met and some I haven’t. I’m so nervous about it. I always get like that if we’re going somewhere in a music setting. I feel like my partner is like AP, very loud and outgoing and has an air of confidence (which I know isn’t real but that’s how it comes across) and I always think I seem boring in comparison and people are thinking ‘why is he with her? She’s so boring’.
I don’t do a lot. I parent, I work, I read a lot and I like creative writing. That’s about it. Don’t watch a lot of movies or TV, have a kind of cliche music taste that I think music fans would roll their eyes at.
I just want to get some tips on feeling confident and comfortable in social situations. I’m always so on edge and then spend days thinking about stuff I said that seemed like the wrong thing to say.
I guess it’s my emotional writer side. Small talk seems boring, I want to know people properly and I guess tend to skip the basics 
I would also love to not actually care that much if people don’t take a liking to me.
I realise this may be off topic but thought it might be okay as it’s all a part of the healing process right? Trying to fix myself and all that.
