SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi, I have been doing really well for the last few weeks. WH has been reassuring and doing all the right things; we’ve been getting on, just not spending as much time together as we had been doing as we moving into a slightly less ‘crisis control’ zone.
However, been having racing heartbeat and feelings of utter panic/ dread over the last couple of days.
Is this normal? There are no specific triggers.
Just wanted to share in the hope of normalising this.
Thanks.

Yes, very much so. It takes a long time after DDay, even in best case scenario situations, for your nervous system to calm down. Even now, four years out, I have occasional random emotional disturbances for no apparent reason. They have tapered off almost entirely, but not all the way.

Thank you, Grieving.

Yes it is normal, two steps forward and one step back. I am a step by step process thinker. You complete this step and then move to the next step. Never in my life have I experienced something like this. We get to a good place and wham I get knocked back. I got to a point that I was thankful for the lizard brain. It stands watch to protect you, sometimes they are false alarms. Its like the annoying smoke detector that goes off while cooking, but in the middle of the night it just might save my family's life.

Tanner, thanks for the reassurance about normality! Nice analogy.

I'm many years out and divorced, but I still get those out of the blue panic attacks. I really hate them. Usually, I can't even identify a trigger.

I was washing my truck this afternoon, in a zone, good music playing, focused on the task, and out of nowhere I start thinking about the sext messages my wife exchanged with her AP and my stomach dropped, good mood gone. Came out of nowhere.

Those thoughts don't get me as riled up as before but they come out of nowhere and strip away from my good mood.

An affair, the gift that keeps on giving :/

I'm years out and this happens from time to time.

I do all the routine things - up my self care, keep up my nutrition and exercise routines, practice hobbies, get some coffee w/a friend of solo.

I also log these feelings down. Maybe a pattern will emerge, maybe not - but if nothing else I have the info should I need/want it.

I tell myself there is NO SHAME in taking one of the emergency Rx I keep on hand should this feeling be not so easily shaken.

And...I feel the feeling whatever it is. I cry if I need to, rage [appropriately] if I need to, just be if I need to. Sometimes the system just needs to purge.