Topic is Sleeping.
freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 9:10 PM on Saturday, December 9th, 2023
I've not been here in a while.
Life is amazing.
The ex has serious buyer's remorse for his life decisions. Those bread crumb calls and texts I used to pine and long for, I don't even answer any more.
I remember when I thought that in order to fix my life, either he needed to come back to me, or I would take my own life. I could not see any way other than that, for this problem to be resolved.
Neither of those things happened. And now I have all the peace and joy and emotional and mental health I always longed for. It is truly amazing.
I think I might have met a guy. I am thinking of asking him out but just made a post on New Beginnings to get advice first lol.
I'm just really happy. My worst day now is better than my best day in the prior 25 years to DDay.
nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 10:12 PM on Saturday, December 9th, 2023
What an amazing update free, you've done awesome and I hope you are really proud of yourself!
Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 10:17 PM on Saturday, December 9th, 2023
Infidelity is one of the worst things that someone can do to us. It changes us forever, but it’s not the end of the world, there are New Beginnings that emerge from the ashes, regardless if you D or R.
Congratulations on your journey and thanks for sharing.
Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years
freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 10:53 PM on Saturday, December 9th, 2023
I love you guys so much. Even those of you who I never talked with at all, I love you all.
I camped out here for months, weeping and reading every single post.
I would have died without this web site, I am absolutely certain of that.
I am so thankful and want good things and blessings for everyone here.
New beginnings with a new man are exciting but the best new beginning was the one with myself. I've had a rebirth. Everyone who knew me prior to Feb of 2017, will say I'm not the same person. My daughter the other day said, I am unrecognizable to the weeping, cowering, fear driven, codependent.
Life got so much better when I took all the energy I put into trying to get love from other people, to get very unhealthy validation and a sense of self worth based on what others thought of me, and put it into myself.
truthsetmefree ( member #7168) posted at 11:05 PM on Saturday, December 9th, 2023
I love everything about both your posts. ❤️
It’s amazing and humbling, isn’t it? Weird to feel such gratitude after just wanting to die. Weird how after experiencing such darkness we didn’t know to realize that we have now also discovered such light we didn’t know.
Cool beans. 🤩
Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. ~ Augustine of Hippo
Funny thing, I quit being broken when I quit letting people break me.
freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 11:10 PM on Saturday, December 9th, 2023
truthsetmefree, yes yes and yes X 1000.
I just cannot believe I ever did that to myself. I saw a meme that said I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with things I should not have.
Like OMG when he first cheated back in the 1990's and destroyed me, and I stayed? WHY? Because I thought I couldn't take care of myself? Because I didn't trust that God would help me?
Now? I would rather sleep in a Buick than with my ex. I would rather sleep in a cardboard box. I would rather die of exposure on Skid Row LOL.
And the thing is, none of that would have happened. It's just that I would have had to grow up and be a big girl and take care of myself, and the idea of that was too scary to contemplate.
A friend of mine says, "You can't do it until you can do it." So I forgive myself for not being able to do it all those years.
But I'm doing it now.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:49 PM on Sunday, December 10th, 2023
Thanks for sharing. I'm very glad you chose life. Yours is a great story for all of us - surviving infidelity isn't about D or R; it's about taking control of one's own life.
On our first post-d-day anniversary, my W bought chocolates and flowers for me and asked me out to dinner. That had a giant good effect on me. If you want to get something going with someone, someone has to initiate. This is the 21st century, sister. If the guy isn't deeply flattered by an invitation, he's not strong enough for you anyway. 
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
TwiceWounded ( member #56671) posted at 6:16 AM on Monday, December 11th, 2023
This is… amazing. I am SO HAPPY for you. This is the update I needed to read today.
My "big" D Day was Dec 28 2016 so I spent much of 2017 here… 7 years. But I R’ed, and after 7 years got blown apart worse than ever 6 weeks ago. I almost find myself wishing I hadn’t stayed (but then wouldn’t have DS, so I can’t think that way). This means I’m again at the first step of my journey, which is now D, rather than the freedom and happiness you are enjoying.
I needed to know there was hope, and you have given it to me.
May your life be filled with blessings and joy!
Finally time to divorce, at age 40. Final D Day 10/29/23.
Married since 2007. 1st betrayal: 2010. Betrayals 2 - 5 through 2016. Last betrayal Sept/Oct 2023. Now divorce.
2 young kids.
Topic is Sleeping.
