So..dday was a week ago?
Some things are missing here. Women don't tend to get drunk and suddenly make out with a man they've known. There is usually a flirtation, at the very least,leading up to making out.
Have you done any investigation, to verify what she's said? Has she been transparent with her phone,email,and online accounts? Was there a number she was in contact with,quite a bit?
Stop the couples counseling. The marriage didn't cheat. She did. She needs IC to figure out why she allowed herself to cross these boundaries. It has NOTHING to do with you,or the marriage.
She cheated. Cheaters lie. Therefore she should be tested for stds.
This wasn't a mistake. A mistake is grabbing skim milk,when you meant to grab 2%. This was a choice. Several choices.
It's way to soon to forgive. You don't even know if you have the truth.
Understand, this isn't yours to fix. This is on her.
What work is she doing to become a safe partner?
You should make some requirements for attempting to reconcile. They should be,at minimum..
Full transparency
You get full access to all accounts and the phone. Passwords included.
Std testing.
She answers all of your questions without anger or defensiveness
.and no blame.
She stops drinking alcohol.
She sends a no contact message to OM,and blocks him.
IC to figure out why she cheated.
Your job is to take care of yourself, and watch her actions. And contact the other man's wife,and let her know. She deserves the truth.
You sound like you are in a hurry to rugsweep. Don't do that. It will come back to haunt you. It also teaches her that this really isn't too bad. And it is.
Also, it's possible this happened just as she's said. However, an immediate confession, full truth,and immediate true remorse is extremely rare. It's possible she confessed because someone saw them, or his wife found out. Whose idea was it to move away so quickly? That sounds like she is wanting to run,and get you away from there, in hopes of keeping you from finding out the rest.
A polygraph would eliminate these questions. They're used often,when there's been infidelity.
[This message edited by HellFire at 4:03 PM, Tuesday, January 31st]