Topic is Sleeping.
January2222 (original poster member #61519) posted at 9:16 AM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
I haven't been here in a while.
I'm filing for divorce but because he's so vindictive I may leave with less.
Besides being unfaithful he has been very abusive..all forms but has threatened me that his friends will kill me
On Wednesday night he took my phone and said he thought it was his. He was gone an hour and I'm worried he may have done something with it.
I don't trust this man. He's very vindictive and scares the shit out of Me.
In the past he has said he is going to give me nothing and then followed up with you'll see.
I have been isolated and he has all money in his name.
My son is going out of town for a week and I'm scared to stay with him alone. My gut tells me he's going to do something to me then.
I'm scared of leaving him because he said if I leave something bad is going to happen. When asked what he responded...you'll see.
I have night terrors and PTSD severely. When ever I try to speak he tells me to shutup.
If I try to get what is mine in divorce he's going to make my life he'll.
I'm broken and my self esteem is at a all time low.
Any support would be helpful.
His vindictiveness is terrifying me
JammyWheel ( member #80828) posted at 10:06 AM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
Sorry to hear this
Is there a women’s aid organisation you can call (don’t know where you are, and what it would be called local to you)
Helena67 ( member #80506) posted at 11:30 AM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
I’m so sorry! Please find help!
BS (me) 56 years. Divorced!!!
ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 2:01 PM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
If you're afraid of him, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233. You don't have to wait for things to become intolerable to start gathering resources.
I'm so sorry that you've been put in this position. I do think you'll need a good exit strategy if he's threatening you though.
BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:49 PM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
You should NOT stay with him when your son is gone. Find a domestic violence shelter it trusted friend or family member.
Get out! Now!
[This message edited by The1stWife at 11:14 PM, Sunday, December 25th]
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 6:59 PM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
Get yourself a new phone, immediately. He definitely put a tracker/spyware on yours. Tell him you accidentally smashed it, dropped it in water, whatever, and that you had to get a new one. Call that hotline as suggested.
Does he know your whereabouts at all times? File a police report regarding his threats. Get that documented. You don't have to press charges right now. Stay safe.
[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 7:00 PM, Sunday, December 25th]
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
JammyWheel ( member #80828) posted at 7:16 PM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
The hotline dot org
You can text too
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 11:10 PM on Sunday, December 25th, 2022
Echoing that you need to call the hotline ASAP. Like now.
Get to safety- now.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 1:51 AM on Monday, December 26th, 2022
Get yourself a new phone, immediately. He definitely put a tracker/spyware on yours. Tell him you accidentally smashed it, dropped it in water, whatever, and that you had to get a new one. Call that hotline as suggested.
Great advice except you don't have to tell him you got a new phone. Just leave your old phone lying around and get a new one. You really do sound very scared of him so please don't stay with him alone.
"Because I deserve better"
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 3:55 AM on Monday, December 26th, 2022
Get out NOW
go to a domestic violence or women's shelter.
He has made it clear he will hurt you. You have to protect yourself. You have to get out and notify law enforcement immediately.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Forks027 ( member #59996) posted at 2:54 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2022
Isn’t abuse at its highest when the victim tries to leave? Do NOT - DO NOT - let yourself be alone with him.
I second the phone advice. He definitely bugged it somehow.
Did you call the hotline? What was their advice? VAR?
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 6:14 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2022
Please check in, January2222. Let us know how you are doing.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
taken4granted ( member #61971) posted at 6:24 PM on Tuesday, December 27th, 2022
You are getting really good advice from others. You need to protect yourself.
As far as him getting more in the divorce, that probably won’t happen.
I don’t know where you are, but when I filed, the courts gave him 8 hours to get his stuff and get out. I was given a restraining order and exclusive use of the house. That doesn’t mean that he won’t stalk the house or you. Please talk to neighbors and friends. I had neighbors calling me to let me know when it wasn’t safe to leave or come home.
Please get help and get to a safe place. Those threats can turn very real. I was lucky that all I got was a black eye. It could have been much worse. Based on your description, he is a loose canon. Please let us know how things are going. I’m very worried about you.
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
Me: Living life! Him: Not my problem anymore
Married 15 yrs.
1 LTA, Many EAs from 2009 - ?
Dday 1 = 6/16/17
Last Dday = 1/4/18
Started loving myself 2018!
Topic is Sleeping.
