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Newest Member: findthebeautywithin

The Book Club :
Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 6:32 PM on Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

I tend to be a non-fiction reader, and I know that my STBX and I are going to have to go through 10 years' worth of STUFF, including kids' stuff, now that we are separating. A part of me is looking forward to not having HIS stuff around anymore, as he tends to accumulate much more than me (or at least that is my impression, but maybe I just value different things). Anyway, I'm enjoying this one so far. I'm going to start with my own stuff, but I'm seeing this as an opportunity for renewal.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7353165
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 7:36 PM on Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

I loved it and my closet and dresser are wonderful now. Still can't get through some of the other things like paperwork

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 7353265
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 8:05 PM on Wednesday, September 23rd, 2015

Clothes will be huge for me! I've been through two pregnancies in the last 5 years, so I have skinny (pre-pregnancy), maternity, nursing, post-partum and newly skinny (but different from pre-pregnancy) clothes. Everything from size 4-14, plus the maternity and nursing stuff. Then, there are the kids' clothes...

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7353301
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mamazen ( member #42137) posted at 1:49 AM on Saturday, September 26th, 2015

A friend just recommended this book to me---said it changed her life. And I found it today at Costco! Yeah, I put it in my cart as I was filling it up with so much other "stuff"! (Irony not lost on me).

I'm enjoying the first couple chapters, and gearing myself up. I like her firm confidence that if we do it her way (and no other), it will work its magic.

I have a couple of other "clean up your clutter" books, but they are lost among the piles (irony also not lost on me).

Last year is when I had to get all xWH's stuff out....and I spent a lot of time, sweat and tears sorting and putting it all together (including the 1000's of pictures, a feat unto its own)....and I felt so much lighter and clearer after it was done. I still visit the storage room regularly just to look at the floor, and to congratulate myself on knowing exactly where everything is, and what exactly is in every box.

I need a new beginning, and psychic room to allow my future to unfold. I like the idea that the technique in this book will allow this to happen. She seems like a wise lady (if not a little weird; I mean, what child is obsessed with organizing the bathroom drawers weekly?? LOL)

mamazen


me 57
WH 58
married 19 years
separated since 3/2013 (in house until 8/2013)
D FINAL! Sept 10 2014
D-day Dec 21 2013 (after separation)
2 sons 17 and 13
OW = family friend and WH work colleague, going on m

posts: 679   ·   registered: Jan. 20th, 2014   ·   location: canada
id 7355610
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 11:19 PM on Sunday, September 27th, 2015

I've done my tops, pants, skirts, suit jackets and dresses. Then, I was interrupted by a bout of stomach flu! It takes a while because I have to try everything on to see if it even fits. One garbage bag for general donation and another for a place that helps women who need assistance dress for job interviews to get into the workforce.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7356921
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 11:21 PM on Sunday, September 27th, 2015

I'm glad you were able to get your WH'd stuff out. I think that will help me feel that sense of renewal. I also have a couple of tidying/organizing books, but the last time I really did it was in 2011 when I was expecting our first child.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7356924
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 11:54 PM on Sunday, September 27th, 2015

One (maybe) last point. I like her attitude toward material things and our relationship to them. By thanking items that I use for their service, I feel gratitude for the fact that I have clothes and a bed to sleep in and dishes to hold the food I eat, etc. Maybe I can approach my consumption habits with more social awareness if I think about the effort that went into making them.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7356944
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 2:28 PM on Monday, September 28th, 2015

I don't want to worship stuff. But looking at things with an attitude of gratitude and thinking about if it brings joy or that it served a purpose and was ok to go to another. That made sense to me.

I definitely have not bought as much since reading it

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 7357337
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annanew ( member #43693) posted at 11:15 PM on Monday, September 28th, 2015

I just got it on audible. I'm ADD though, so many organizing techniques are too advanced for me. But look forward to reading it anyway.

Single mom to a sweet girl.

posts: 2500   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2014   ·   location: California
id 7357943
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 3:19 AM on Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

Pent up: I understand what you mean about the worship aspect. The author does almost worship items.

Annanew: Good luck. I'm sure that ADD interferes with many things. Perhaps the book's approach can offer a slightly different approach. It does still require a lot of focused attention to carry out the book's plan.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7358151
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shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 3:16 PM on Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

I have not read the book, but I keep seeing it "popping up" as a reference when I read about tidying up, minimalism, etc. I am trying to de-clutter and asking the question "does this bring you joy?" helps me throw things away.

DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.

posts: 3711   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7358519
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JanetS ( member #2766) posted at 3:44 PM on Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

My daughter bought me this book recently. It's in the case with my other unread books LOL

House under major Reno... will adopt less crowded storage when returning items to the home.

posts: 3077   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2003   ·   location: Niagara-on-the-Lake, Canada
id 7359547
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 4:39 PM on Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

Any of you that are reading/have read it, did you read Sink Reflections (ie Fly Lady)?

I read that years ago and liked it. While I did not subscribe to her stuff 100% - I was able to pick enough out of the book to make it worthwhile. Just wondering how it compares?

and I felt so much lighter and clearer after it was done

Yeppers - nothing like that feeling when you clean out!

posts: 6935   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 7359648
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ncharge ( member #42365) posted at 10:45 PM on Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

You comment about room to breath reminds me of an excellent decluttering book I read a couple of months ago - Breathing Room: Open your heart by decuttering your hom.e

I also highly recommend SoulSpace: Transform Your Home, Transform Your Life -- Creating a Home That Is Free of Clutter, Full of Beauty, and Inspired by You. It is all about making a home that reflects who YOU are. It is wonderful!

posts: 399   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2014
id 7359996
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 12:30 PM on Thursday, October 1st, 2015

Careful, JanetS. After our Reno last year, all that extra stuff is still sitting in our garage.

I haven't read either of the other books, although I've heard of Flylady before.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7360345
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ShattererdHeart ( member #49777) posted at 4:46 PM on Monday, November 2nd, 2015

I am a fan and was in the midst of KonMari when DDay hit and then nothing was going to "spark joy".

Everything I had done (clothes, books, papers, some other) has stayed easily maintained though. I am just starting back and just did a category this past weekend for the first time since Dday.

Me: BS
Him: WS- prostitutes
Married 16 years 1 child
Working on it

posts: 53   ·   registered: Sep. 28th, 2015
id 7386946
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JanaGreen ( member #29341) posted at 8:04 PM on Monday, November 2nd, 2015

Is this something that can be done in small chunks of time? Have small baby who doesn't sleep through the night yet, another kid, and full-time job - I could only devote 20 minutes here and there at a time - is this doable or do you have to have hours of time to use this system?

posts: 9505   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2010   ·   location: Southeast US
id 7387160
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 8:13 PM on Monday, November 2nd, 2015

You could do it in chunks of time. I didn't pull ALL my clothes out. I did a drawer at a time (I was kind of organized before, but was starting to feel cluttered and out of control).

If you feel like your closet is really a nightmare, then it may be worth having your husband take the kids for 3 or 4 hours to get a good start.

Then it is really a mindset more than a system.

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 7387175
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 Hawke (original poster member #47517) posted at 11:34 PM on Friday, November 6th, 2015

I did it in chunks. For example, one time I just did socks. Another, I did T-shirts. She actually a specific order in which you should do your clothes.

Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)

posts: 2370   ·   registered: Apr. 13th, 2015   ·   location: Alberta, Canada
id 7390622
Topic is Sleeping.
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