Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 12:28 AM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
TrashPanda7, there are plenty of ways to find their address on the all-knowing and all-powerful internet. I did this 10 years ago, during the internet's "bronze age."
I sent the letter by register mail, which costs a few bucks, because she would have to go to the post office and present her ID to receive the letter. There was no possible way the OM could intercept it.
Fakebook and crapogram are not valid mediums for this type of information.
(yes, I hate social media)
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
TrashPanda7 (original poster new member #86753) posted at 12:42 AM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
Yea, not saying I agree with the therapist or will follow her full advice, just sharing what was said.
Part of what had been bugging me is wondering if there is contact I don't know about. By telling her, I would effectively eliminate one of the only ways I might get that answer.
I definitely found the address and found a few numbers related to them but I don't know that they are hers. Can you make a letter to where only she can pick it up? We have relatively small towns around here and family picks up each other's packages regularly when they go to town if it couldn't be delivered.
Sharkman ( member #56818) posted at 1:59 AM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2025
That’s why this way is essential. You know that your wife has no problem lying to you, you’d like to think that she’s changed but you’re not an idiot. Trust, but verify.
Yeah, you can send a Registered Mail with Restricted Delivery. It requires ID and signature. Just throw a letter with your phone number, email and a brief note saying exactly what happened. Include any printouts and other proof that would make any reasonable person believe it. Just ask that she texts or calls so you are 100% that it’s been received. You need that piece of mind so that this entire process can serve its purpose.
As a friend, I would push back on not disclosing asap. Christmas is a great time but it’ll always be poisoned if you let it have that power over you. You’re a decision, driven guy. Doing things that you’d rather not do is an important step in getting your agency over your life back. No holiday is more important than that. It’s not your job to worry about the other family, your wife and her lover sure as shit didn’t take that into consideration.
