SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I found out 3 months ago about my husband having an affair.

I am still shocked that he has done this to me and my son. I am going through so much saddness and anger, but mainly worry about our family and what this means for us. The affair is over but I cannot ever forgive this action

My son is 14. Should I tell him? He often sees i am upset. He is aware of hushed conversations. I don't want to lie because then I am a bad mum?

Anyone with experience here of this?

I am also 3 months from finding out; we haven’t told our adult sons yet because we are trying to work this all out. In some ways we look closer than ever because we are focused on rebuilding so it hasn’t been hard to hide. I just do my crying upstairs. But a 14 year old living in your home would definitely be picking up on the situation so I feel like a conversation needs to be had. And your husband should be the one to do it—he caused this mess, let him start cleaning it up. He may not need to tell the whole story although that would be up to him. So sorry that you are going through this but know you have a support system here as many of us are going through the same shit that you are. Keep us posted on how it’s going. Lots of folks on here have very sound advice for us newcomers—and the shock, anger, grief and all those other feelings are completely normal, and will be compounded when you have to also deal with the feelings of your son. Take care of yourself.

Poster child here for cheating (alley-cat) parents

I was eight *8* years old when I figured out my progenitors were BOTH alley cats.

I ain't made normal - as I grew older I decided I would NEVER cheat or ACCEPT a cheater for a mate.

Ya, so much for "decididing" -

wife did 'her thing' but DID confess before I confronted with circumstantial evidence.

You know the refrain: "We only kissed - a lot"

Decades later - she has matured and likely would never repeat

Me, a memory for which I NEVER signed up for . . .

What is my point?

Very likely that son senses that something is wrong.

Hard to guess what would work for him - tell or not to tell?

Either way some day in the future the truth will surface. What then?

You makes your choice and proceeds with the outcome.

Either way (tell or no-tell) there are plus and minus things that can happen.

Cheating sux big times for a LOT of people who are friends and family.

Maybe consider how your son handles evil that people do? @ 14 hard to gauge from some anonymous poster on the Internet