First, thank you!! A while back I was lurking, and I saw many of you recommend the book The Body Keeps the Score. I read half of it, and I realized I have complex PTSD. Since D-day I've struggled with derealization. With counseling, I was at least less bonkers. I went from not recognizing my husband (seriously, I would be like, "whoa - who is this guy I'm waking up next to") to being able to function.
But it never quite went away. I still have episodes; I still feel like a stranger in my own house, or sometimes like I've never been in the house; I still forget what it's like to have a weekend, because my mind won't let me fully live and remember my own life; and I still feel less effective in my job. (One caveat, I am 90% normal with my kids - it's mainly my home life outside of parenting that is off.)
Because of the book you recommended, I found a counselor who specializes in complex PTSD. In the second session, she talked me through some raw nerves I didn't know I had. The shakes came back, which sucked. In the days after session 3, things really started to shift. In my shower, instead of feeling like I was in a hotel shower, I felt like I was in a regular house. As I went about my day, instead of feeling like a person working through a semi-transparent list of things, I felt grounded.
I know I'm not done getting better. It's only been a month! Last night instead of feeling like a person who was dropped into a movie without knowing the script, I felt like my FWH and I were dropped into a movie together. While that's not so good, feeling like I had company in the movie was a nice change.
I just wanted to send you my most sincere thanks. This is changing my life more than you can know, and I never would have gotten on the right path without the book you recommended.
Keet
Married 2000; DDay Oct 3, 2019; WH EA 2012; WH month-long PA 2019; 2 kids, now high school and college (neither know).
Resulted in complex PTSD
