SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I have googled and researched the term, but am wondering, for a WS does it have other meaning? How do you as WS's define adulting, and how to the betrayed spouses out there define adulting when it comes to your WS?

I would assume that it means functioning as a healthy, fully-formed member of society. That includes taking responsibility and embracing consequences as a way of self-improvement.

My EXWW was never really good at any of that, as she always off-loaded responsibility to someone else. She could never embrace the long haul approach to self-improvement, rather opting for the quick-fix approach. Even now, she is slways looking for the quick deal which will allow her to jump the queue and get to the front.

To butcher a quote: there is no royal road to healing.

To me, "adulting" is essentially just carrying out the various tasks/responsibilities that are practically necessary for living responsibly as an adult. Things like going to work, paying the mortgage/taxes, doing laundry, emptying the dishwasher, making doctors appointments, flossing, making sure you're eating enough vegetables, etc. etc. If you have kids, the list obviously gets a lot bigger pretty quickly.

As a BS, I don't really associate "adulting" with anything A-related. I can see why many would make the connection - it seems like a common theme amongst some Waywards is a type of Peter Pan type syndrome.

I'm interested, why do you ask the question?

I am told frequently that I am not adulting, yet I think that I am doing all those things you listed below. I certainly miss things and I guess that is the point; I am not laser focused on those adulting things that show that I am committed to family and home that show I am shedding selfishness and don't have my thoughts and effort else where. I asked to try and understands if there is something I am missing. Maybe it is this simple.