SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

It was just about this time in 2012 when I found out my ex wife was a cheater. In that time, our kids have grown into adults, I’ve bought a different house, gotten a nice girlfriend started a new life, etc. Its amazing when I think how much time has passed without a single day that I haven’t at least once remembered the very traumatic experience of infidelity and the wrath of a female narcissist during my divorce in an American family court system. For the damage it causes, cheating on your spouse ought to be illegal and punishable by some sort of legal penalty. That I’m still here, on this website is amazing in itself! And I read the horrifying stories on the "Just found out" forum and remember those hopeless feelings myself. I’m often heartened when I read the "wayward side" when I see waywards desperately trying to fix what they broke and not knowing how but not giving up. Doing everything my ex wouldn’t do. The ripples don’t stop either! The results of my kids having a broken home still show up here and there. They’re never coming home to see mom and dad cooking thanksgiving dinner together in the familiar family home they grew up in. Neither will our grandchildren. The consequences of cheating on a spouse are nearly incalculable when you start to realize how far the ripples travel. It’s kind of amazing that it could ever happen at all, especially with children. That there is no recourse in most states makes me wonder why anyone would get married, ever. Just my rant today. Maybe someone who is thinking of becoming a cheating asshole can read this ahead of time😂😂

Very good post. I am ashamed of my attitude towards infidelity before it hit me. I thought it was equal blame between BS and WS. I also thought the betrayed would be pissed for a couple weeks and just get over it. There really should be some infidelity awareness campaign.

I have a remorseful FWW and I really believe if she stopped to think about the ripple effect and the damage it would cause, she wouldn't have done it. I have watched my W challenge people that are joking about infidelity or standing at the top of the slippery slope. I heard her crying and yelling at friend "You need to get close to H again before you do something you will hate for the rest of your life". As mush as my W hates infidelity, I can never rule it out as a possibility, I've seen what she is capable of.

That there is no recourse in most states makes me wonder why anyone would get married, ever.

Agree 100%. I would word it a bit differently….replace "anyone" with "any man"

Agree 100%. I would word it a bit differently….replace "anyone" with "any man"

Yep. These days a man has to be out of his mind to get married. I never thought I would hear myself say this but the family court system is weighted heavily against men.

That there is no recourse in most states makes me wonder why anyone would get married, ever.

I agree, my Son is 30, very successful and single. He doesn't want to get M and it makes my W crazy. He says he wants to find a good girl like his Mother. He doesn't know about her infidelity. I always believed I married my soulmate, but after Dday I don't believe there is such a thing, or I didn't ever find her. I think marriage is an awful idea and would never do it again.
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Mac,

Many states had laws against adultery, with varying levels of punishments and enforcement.

A quick search..... 16 states: Arizona, Florida, Kansas, Illinois, Massachusetts, Oklahoma, Idaho, Michigan, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Utah, New York, Mississippi, Georgia, South Carolina and North Carolina. Reveals that some states still have them on the books.

Various groups who need to maintain unity also expel or punish cheaters, the UCMJ can be used to punish cheaters, outlaw biker MCs forbid anyone from touching another members old lady. The Mafia appears to have had rules against adultery as spouses know too much and see too much. I would guess many religions still view it as a sin.

I think in the liberal west we have lost sight of the fundamental importance of the family as the building block of society.

We mock other cultures for stoning adulteresses, but we miss what values it is meant to support in those societies.

As you describe it in your marriage it was a form of child abuse, yea isn't that against the law?

What about the breaking of the marriage contract, shouldn't that retract the financial rewards offered by marital law?

We enforce laws about property, but allow the damaging of human lives without consequence.

"Agree 100%. I would word it a bit differently….replace "anyone" with "any man""

Why is that?

So the lesson is don’t ever get married? And if you do, get drunk, play video games and for the love of God do not have a bread winning job?