We are nearing the divorce being finalized!!! Hip hip hooray.
What is your plan for socializing?
I'm going to avoid the dating sites, short term objective is to expand activities I enjoy. Industry functions, friends, going "yes man" and accepting social engagements, allowing set-ups, and leaping into all the activities I enjoy - social or non-social. I had always loved to host, the stbxww had some anxiety with new people and groups. Apparently one on one with married men didn't bring the same anxiety. I'm free now to host some cocktail parties, so remodeling.
I have a weekly boys night, 1/2 the group is single, and they have hobbies and engagements I'm invited. My concern with dating sites is that I want to have a net of social connections. Even if the connections are tenuous, friend of a friend of a friend, to me that feels more secure than meeting through websites. I am engaging in some social networking sites more, Facebook, etc., on some hobbies. In that case I'm focusing on fellow hobbyists and not concentrating any special attention on the opposite sex.
What are your hobbies and interests and how's your current social network? I was "lucky", years of neglect gave me the opportunity to build an individual life. With the toxic cloud of faux reconciliation lifting, I can see ever expanding life opportunities. Trying to be deliberate and pick a life direction. Not sure what I want to be when I grow up now. Not well enough to set any grander goals than expanding my social circles and activities. A relationship is too large a goal to place on my plate. Very interested to hear other people's plans, how they're going about constructing a new life.
Truth be told, I'm not the person my stbxww married, not the one she betrayed, not the one that was in reconciliation. I don't know who I am yet, I'm hoping time, friendships, and activity will lead me to better understanding. I am worn out with therapists, frankly, they were all trying to get me to just see my situation clearly. I would not be led to water at the time, had to die of thirst first.