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He's doing good.

They took out the shunt for the dialysis. Kidney function is good. He developed what they think is an infection at the site so he's on antibiotics.

He goes to the hospital once a week for chemo.

The only issue really is bowels. They don't work so he is on laxatives that work way to well. My mom has tried to get him on a proper med schedule and bowel routine but he's being stubborn.

My brother is doing as much as he can, as much as they will allow him to. Lots of driving. He's stressed but handling everything like a champ.

I called my mom to chat. She seems in good spirits.

Watching your parents slowly deteriorate is difficult.

Hi Drgn, its good to hear your dad is going off dialysis! My dad had a fun time with dealing with the chemo/gut interaction. We had to have gone through about 10 different laxative methods! Way more than I expected to learn in my early 20s...

Watching the physical decline of parents sucks at any age. MIL had hernia surgery, FIL has gout. Not a damn thing we could do but take care of chores for them.

Glad your brother is there to support your dad though, that is priceless! Your mom has got to be very stressed and overwhelmed. Having your brother there to share the load hopefully is a comfort to her.

My dad had a fun time with dealing with the chemo/gut interaction. We had to have gone through about 10 different laxative methods! Way more than I expected to learn in my early 20s...

My mom and I are former personal support workers. Its amazing how much time I spent dealing with bowel routines. My dad is just not sticking to what has been set out.

Glad your brother is there to support your dad though, that is priceless! Your mom has got to be very stressed and overwhelmed. Having your brother there to share the load hopefully is a comfort to her.

I was just talking to this brother (I have 2). As much as it is great he is there to help he feels like he has failed life. Lost his business due to covid, didn't qualify for the grants or supports. Is single. Currently no job. He's frustrated. I appreciate everything he does and I'm sure my mom does too. Our father is just grumpy all the time. Dad doesn't like thst he can't drive anymore. Losing his independence. It's just an overall difficult time for everyone.

I wish I could do more. I just feel so worn thin as it is.

Its hard to watch your parents struggle and know that youre legitimately too overwhelmed right now to do very much.

Perhaps your brother lost his business right now so that he could care for your parents. If he had been full tilt busy with his work, and your M hit the fan at the same time as your dad got sick, who would have been able to help?

Ya the everything happens for a reason thing. My brother doesn't see it that way. He just sees how hard he worked to get everything in place and then watched it all fall apart.

Lots of that going on in our family.

My mom is still dealing with my aunts estate being in probate and my one cousin out of province who is demanding money. Her estate shouldn't be divided further than her two remaining sisters since she had no children of her own.

Everything seems a mess right now.

Great update on your dad! Hope the upward trajectory continues, for your sake, and hi.

Spoke to damn soon.

He had a fall, hit his head. Brother took him to doctor. His blood pressure was really low then really high. Back home. Fell again.

My mom calls me to see hoe I am feeling and here dad is falling....yeah mom I'm fine lol. Worry about dad!

(I'm not fine really, still feel like shit but I wasn't going to tell her that).

Can someone get your dad q walker until her is moving better.
Getting dehydrated and anemic during chemo is very common and that leads to weakness and falls.
Have to be careful with falls as itcqn lead to bleeds and bruises. A walker will help prevent that.

Glad he is doing better overall though.

Hope you are feeling better as well.

The problem is, would he use it. My mom said at the hospital she makes him sit in a wheel chair because he's so slow now. So maybe he'd use a walker.

Their house is a side split, so stairs everywhere and many many levels. My brother said he moved the main computer where my dad spends alot of time, up to the spare bedroom on the upper floor with easy access to a washroom.

That bowel management issue can be so frustrating!

Seems like you go from not being able to go, to going too much, back to not being able to go.

Finding the exact balance seems almost impossible. I wish you all luck with that!

And I agree with tush, the a walker sounds like a great idea. It’s not a big investment, so if he decided not to use it, they wouldn’t be out much money.

Well wishes for him. And all of you.

I'm glad your dad is doing well but sorry that he fell. He's very lucky he didn't break something.

When my father was ill, he got dizzy, fell and broke his hip. After that he always used a walker or wheelchair to get around.

Regarding your brother, I don't know what the deal is in Canada, but when my dad was sick long-term and my DD was spending a lot of time helping out, she got a small stipend from the state government for providing respite care. It wasn't much, but was helpful because she quit her job to help out.

I haven't talked much to my brother in a month. He messaged me yesterday to remind me of my parents anniversary....I thought it was next week. I'm a mess so I think he's been keeping his frustration to himself.

I spoke to my dad yesterday. He actually had a voice, sounded better. My parents are thr type to openly share information so I'd be thr last to know what's going on if my brother didn't tell me.