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Newest Member: Pepper66

Off Topic :
What would you do? Therapist conflict

Topic is Sleeping.
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 7:37 PM on Monday, March 21st, 2022

Thanks for all the responses.

Another question... while I don't care if the couple's therapist is going to know that it is us filing a complaint against her, I'm wondering about whether to tell my IC about it. My IC says her allegiance is with me, but would it make her wary of moving forward with me, because I could be identified as a potential problem patient? However, I think therapy can only be helpful when the patient is as transparent as possible, and keeping such actions from her would be a secret. Remember, I found my IC through a referral from the couple's therapist.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1354   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8724678
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 2:26 AM on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2022

She then posted it on FB? Are you fucking kidding? I’d add that to my complaint.

You did the right thing. Now outright ask your IC if this is going to be a problem. It is YOUR therapy. you need to feel safe and supported.

(Proud of you for meeting with and calling out the unprofessional MC!))

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6140   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8724764
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 number4 (original poster member #62204) posted at 8:37 PM on Tuesday, March 22nd, 2022

So I stand corrected. Saw my IC today, and when I asked her why she told me about the FB post where the MC got so much support, my therapist said that the MC did not specifically mention going private on IG because of a couple she had been working with, much less because of her career. My therapist also said she gets FB and IG mixed up (she's not really social media savvy), and she thinks it was on her IG page that the MC told friends she was going private.

My therapist did say she spoke with the MC, and 'gave her shit' for what she did. Evidently, MC feels really, really badly, that it has shaken her world to know that she hurt someone she was working with, and she's reevaluating her presence on social media in general. I straight out asked my therapist if she would continue to refer patients to the MC (this was a really risky thing for me to do because if her answer went one way, I'd feel I had to leave my therapist), and she said she was still in the process of figuring that out (I appreciated her honesty). She said she's going to watch the process that the MC goes through in working through her issues surrounding how she flaunts her own sexuality publicly. If she thinks she learns from this and alters her approach, she might consider referring to her again. If she doesn't, then she won't. She definitely said right now there's a certain type of client she absolutely would not refer to her - couples experiencing infidelity, and people with porn addictions. She said people with porn addictions are very savvy at finding ways around privacy walls.

So that's where it stands. I'm on the fence about whether to report her or not now. It sounds like she's been sufficiently shaken up and realizes she fucked up big time. I'm sort of wondering if she's not learning the lessons I would want her to learn, if I reported her and she was forced to undergo some supervision in her practice.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1354   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8724913
Topic is Sleeping.
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