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Newest Member: Pepper66

Divorce/Separation :
Separated from cheating wife, now seeing someone else...

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dogcopter ( member #77390) posted at 5:15 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE...

1st D-Day: Nov 2015
Many more D-Days.
nth D-Day: Jan 2021

posts: 283   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2021   ·   location: OH
id 8665903
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jadedangel ( member #26979) posted at 5:17 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

One month since DDay and you have hooked up with multiple chicks and found the girl of your dreams.

Oh, but you haven't told dreamgirl that you are married and she has a boyfriend that she has yet to leave him for you yet.

Match made in heaven right there!

Seriously, no matter what you FEEL, you are still a married man. File for your divorce and stop running headlong into the wrong type of relationships.

Divorced 2007.
EXWH died 2011
Remarried 2018!

posts: 699   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2009   ·   location: Central City
id 8665904
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 5:21 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

So your response to the pain you experienced because of infidelity is to block your wife but stay married, share nudes of your brand new cheating girlfriend (cus she is a cheater too), and then go on to fuck over some other woman's boyfriend in the same way you were fucked over.... Yeah, I'm sure that feels so good.

OP, please take this as a concerned tone - you need to get some serious help immediately because you do not sound at all in your right mind; the old adage 'hurt people, hurt people' comes to mind. And I get it - being cheated on is damn awful and it completely screws with your head. I know I was pretty fucked up for a long while after dday too.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3901   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8665905
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elKAPPYtan ( member #72085) posted at 6:02 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

Imagine starting a relation where she cheats on her bf with you. While you are still married no less.

Given what you just went through, I would think you would have more empathy for her bf. And just forget that for a second, how could you possibly have a relationship with her and not be constantly looking over your shoulder?

Me: 36 STBXWW: 36 DDay: Oct 3rd 2019

"You keep it in between the pages of the books you burn so no one gets to read" -Corey MF Taylor

posts: 160   ·   registered: Nov. 14th, 2019   ·   location: MI
id 8665917
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crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 6:17 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

So you are the Betrayed Husband and now the Other Man asking for dating advice on an Infidelity Forum... Nice

fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24

posts: 8863   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8665920
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Marz ( member #60895) posted at 6:35 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

What could possibly go wrong?

posts: 6791   ·   registered: Oct. 3rd, 2017
id 8665927
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 Tornin2pieces (original poster new member #78923) posted at 8:43 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

Oh my...so many replies..

Not sure where to begin here.

My main focus is on my gf. And I don't have time to answer the questions of my wife. I've already told her how I feel about her. I hate her, I don't want to talk to her, she left me and cheated on me. I don't want her back.

What's really interesting to me Is that people on here are berating us as if we can't be in love. I know I asked for advice and I thought this would be the place where I can freely talk about things. I am surviving infidelity from my wife's behavior but this woman is amazing. When you know, you just know. I was so sad and upset over my wife. Now I'm not, I just hate her and have nothing for her, nor do I even want to talk to her. I've moved on.

This new woman is worth the way, my wife is not worth the time. She's considered a low life..well...you can fill in the blanks of a cheater.

posts: 5   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2021
id 8665959
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ChewedMeUp ( member #8008) posted at 8:56 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

Left one cheater for another cheater and became a cheater in the process.

I'm sure it'll work out fine.

ETA: Surviving infidelity, around here, means getting OUT of infidelity, not changing sides.

[This message edited by ChewedMeUp at 2:58 PM, June 8th (Tuesday)]

BS - over 40
DivorcED, finally.
2 Kids

posts: 657   ·   registered: Aug. 26th, 2005   ·   location: Baltimore, MD
id 8665961
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 8:56 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

Your 'girlfriend' is cheating on her actual boyfriend. She's a cheater. And if she cheats with you, then it's highly likely she will cheat on you too. She isn't healthy and neither are you, so any relationship you have is not based on mutual trust and respect - you are using each other. That is not a formula for long term success and happiness in a relationship.

You are cheating with her. You are an affair partner and you are causing the SAME hurt you feel about your wife to another guy right now.

From a practical perspective, if you live in an at-fault state, technically if your wife files first you could wind up being labeled the adulterer.

If you're done with your wife, which is totally understandable, then do the adult thing and file for divorce. You can't just block her and pretend like you're not married anymore because you are, in fact, actually still married.

I don't think you will find much support for what you're doing here because what you are doing is not. healthy. in. any. way. Not for you and not for this other woman you are using.

Please get yourself into IC dude.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3901   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8665962
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 Tornin2pieces (original poster new member #78923) posted at 9:06 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

I just don't see how were using each other. I know you explained but I don't see it. We spend some quality time together. I'm not hurt over my wife anymore...I even told her that when she was trying to fill out the divorce papers. I don't need to answer any questions. She's disturbing me at work with this mess. I even asked her why she was asking me questions. But I didn't allow her to answer...I just don't want to hear her speak. She kept calling me to talk. I did tell her I'd call her after work. But I decided to just show her more photos of me and my gf, let her know how happy we look on the photos,told her to leave me alone.she doesn't get it I don't want her anymore.

posts: 5   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2021
id 8665966
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 9:13 PM on Tuesday, June 8th, 2021

You are using this other woman as a bandaid to plaster over the pain you feel about your wife's cheating. It's a normal human thing to want to feel better and you're not the only BS who has done that. But that is NOT going to work in the long term - you need to face that pain eventually. And it's really not fair to this other woman to be your bandaid.

As far as her.... she's cheating. Actively cheating on her SO. Why would you want to involve yourself with an actual cheating-right-now cheater??

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3901   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8665970
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