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Newest Member: Brokenhearted3663

Wayward Side :
Advice

Topic is Sleeping.
stop

 Patty21 (original poster member #78432) posted at 4:54 PM on Thursday, March 18th, 2021

Hello

I cheated on my husband with a coworker. It's been 3 months since the affair. Each day is difficult. I have caused my husband so much pain. It's hard to be there for him because I am the reason he feels this way. I do my best to comfort him or I write him letters. I am looking to seek therapy. I know I messed up. I am trying to gain my husbands trust and to repair our relationship if that's possible. I know it's not easy. I am just looking for advice in this hard time in my life.

posts: 103   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: AZ
id 8642850
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foreverlabeled ( member #52070) posted at 5:13 PM on Thursday, March 18th, 2021

It is hard to watch the pain we cause. What are some things you've been doing to help so far. Actions are very important so early in the aftermath (and really forever) but things that are actually helping. I don't see letters being useful, because this is just words, they hold no weight.

Did you quit your job?

Are you offering full transparency?

Stepping into his pain with him?

Answering questions?

Checking in?

Communication about the affair?

How is he doing?

Have you read "how to help your spouse heal from your affair" ?

We really need to step up and do as much as we can. Nothing happens on its own, so make sure your full effort and determination is there.

You are going to have to push through some very difficult feelings to accomplish most if not all the work that needs to be done.

posts: 2597   ·   registered: Mar. 1st, 2016   ·   location: southeast
id 8642857
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 Patty21 (original poster member #78432) posted at 3:58 PM on Friday, March 26th, 2021

I have not quit my job I offered to but since I got a new position at my work. My husband has let me work. I have cut ties with this person. I don't talk or acknowledge them. I talk many times saying how sorry I am how I have no excuse for my actions. When I try to be on his level he just pushes me away. Since we have fought alot my 10 has found out and that has caused arguments. I feel that I'm losing my son and husband. This is the worst pain and I just feel so ashamed of the person I changed into. My husband doesn't think he will recover from this and it sounds like that he will leave me. Everything we shared is now ruined. He said it doesn't matter anymore and he has nothing to live for

posts: 103   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: AZ
id 8645506
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 Patty21 (original poster member #78432) posted at 6:57 PM on Friday, March 26th, 2021

I have not quit my job I offered to but since I got a new position at my work. My husband has let me work. I have cut ties with this person. I don't talk or acknowledge them. I talk many times saying how sorry I am how I have no excuse for my actions. When I try to be on his level he just pushes me away. Since we have fought alot my 10 has found out and that has caused arguments. I feel that I'm losing my son and husband. This is the worst pain and I just feel so ashamed of the person I changed into. My husband doesn't think he will recover from this and it sounds like that he will leave me. Everything we shared is now ruined. He said it doesn't matter anymore and he has nothing to live for

posts: 103   ·   registered: Mar. 3rd, 2021   ·   location: AZ
id 8645571
Topic is Sleeping.
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