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Newest Member: ConstantlyConfused

New Beginnings :
Valentine's Day in the very very beginning

Topic is Sleeping.
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 thisisterrible (original poster member #24727) posted at 7:56 AM on Monday, February 15th, 2021

If you're in the very early stages with someone - as in, have only been talking every few days for about a month, have only gone out once or twice, and haven't had any physical contact - would you have expected any acknowledgement of Valentine's Day?

If so, what would you have expected? A card? Small gift? A "Happy Valentines Day" text or call?

If there wasn't any acknowledgement, would you take that a sign that the other party wasn't very interested in taking things further?

Me:BS Him:WH Two kids
A started 2/09 - S 7/09 - he filed for D 12/09
I wanted to R and he didn't. He never stopped seeing the MOW, who filed for D 11/09. They've since broke up...for now.

posts: 682   ·   registered: Jul. 8th, 2009
id 8633345
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OwningItNow ( member #52288) posted at 11:44 AM on Monday, February 15th, 2021

I would take it as a sign that I need to keep my options open and continue to enjoy life. I would not feel rejected nor valued, and I would not spend much time focused on this R. Keep doing you.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 5:44 AM, February 15th (Monday)]

me: BS/WS h: WS/BS

Reject the rejector. Do not reject yourself.

posts: 5908   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2016   ·   location: Midwest
id 8633361
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Karmafan ( member #53810) posted at 12:13 PM on Monday, February 15th, 2021

I would have expected at least an acknowledgment. Nothing at all doesn’t seem...very promising to be honest :(

I have known this guy for six weeks and we talk regularly and meet at least once a week. Absolutely nothing physical has happened. He still acknowledged Valentine’s Day and got me a bottle of wine, which I liked because it is quite a neutral present and doesn’t imply anything.

Obviously everyone is different and I have met guys who despise Valentine’s Day and shun it on purpose. But in the early stages...at least a text wouldn’t have gone amiss!

Definitely keep your options open...

Me 48 XWH Irrelevant D-day 23 Feb 163 amazing, resilient kids

You are not a drop in the Ocean, you are the entire Ocean in a drop

posts: 639   ·   registered: Jun. 23rd, 2016   ·   location: UK
id 8633366
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 1:36 PM on Monday, February 15th, 2021

I had a lunch date on Saturday. We had a very nice time, but due to (his) religious reasons, we are in the friend zone as my divorce is not finalized. He texted me Happy Valentine's day yesterday. I thought it was sweet.

If I had been seeing someone for a month, I would not expect any kind of a gift or card. A simple Happy Valentine's day text would be enough.

As Skeeter said, continue to keep your dating options open. Don't look too deeply into this. If you are feeling strongly for him, maybe try to dial it back a bit, as he may not be feeling the same way, or he may just have a slower timeline.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8633381
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countrydirt ( member #55758) posted at 1:40 PM on Wednesday, February 17th, 2021

I've been in a nice active friendship with a lady for about 6 months. The friendship only developed into a more intimate relationship over the past month. I've been very straightforward about not making romantic gestures because as I told her, I don't want to completely fall head over heels with her (but that it's likely too late for that because I have). She wished me a happy V day and I wished her a happy Palentine's day.

If, however, Valentine's day would have fallen in the first 6 weeks of our friendship, I likely would have said nothing about it. I was too scared and had absolutely no confidence in myself in that way. My challenge had absolutely nothing to do with her - even though I was already interested...

[This message edited by countrydirt at 7:44 AM, February 17th (Wednesday)]

3 adult sonsMarried 32 years. DDay1 - June 2016, DDay 2 - April 2017, Final DDay - May 2020. Divorced - January 2021
Life is Good!

posts: 531   ·   registered: Oct. 25th, 2016   ·   location: Colorado
id 8633803
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cancuncrushed ( member #28156) posted at 1:23 AM on Friday, February 19th, 2021

I think it could be mentioned. It’s kinda the elephant in the room. You can mention your staying in What are they doing? Normal conversation. You can mail a generic considerate card. Not mushy. There are times we give valentines to family. Neighbors or friends. It’s ok to be in this category in the beginning.

Not mentioning makes it a bigger deal. Doubt. Awkward. A rejection that might not be a rejection.

We were iced in. A phone call can be nice.

a trigger yesterday

posts: 4775   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2010   ·   location: athome
id 8634285
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:13 PM on Saturday, February 20th, 2021

The friendship only developed into a more intimate relationship over the past month.

T/J: Ooooh, Countrydirt, how did I miss this? (Bleep runs back to countrydirt's thread to catch up).

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8634729
Topic is Sleeping.
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