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The Book Club :
Love Warrior

Topic is Sleeping.
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 sewardak (original poster member #50617) posted at 5:56 PM on Tuesday, September 6th, 2016

has anyone read this yet? it came out today. i don't want to order it unless someone says it's good and I don't trust the reviews on amazon.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 7653645
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sad81712 ( member #37418) posted at 7:25 PM on Tuesday, September 6th, 2016

I just downloaded it onto my kindle. I'm not sure when I'll start reading it. I'll post when I do!

"Pain is mandatory for all of us. It's what teaches us. Suffering is what's optional. That's what happens when we try to skip over the pain."-Glennon Doyle Melton
BW(me)-52 WH-51
Married 25yrs
DD & DS
D-day 8-2012

posts: 163   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2012
id 7653746
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undertherug ( member #41580) posted at 2:12 PM on Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

I had pre-ordered it and it appeared on my kindle yesterday. I think I read on here somewhere that the author and her husband have, prior to publication of this book, decided to divorce. I intend to read it at some point anyway.

posts: 1077   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 7654367
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sad81712 ( member #37418) posted at 5:00 PM on Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

I started the book yesterday. I love it so far. I couldn't put it down....stayed up late reading. I love how honest she is with her story.

"Pain is mandatory for all of us. It's what teaches us. Suffering is what's optional. That's what happens when we try to skip over the pain."-Glennon Doyle Melton
BW(me)-52 WH-51
Married 25yrs
DD & DS
D-day 8-2012

posts: 163   ·   registered: Nov. 8th, 2012
id 7654536
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ncharge ( member #42365) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

I just finished it. Amazing! So much to think about.😄 I kept pausing to relate to me and my life and my marriage. I learned from this book. I definitely recommend it.

posts: 399   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2014
id 7654816
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ncharge ( member #42365) posted at 9:46 PM on Wednesday, September 7th, 2016

I just finished it. Amazing! So much to think about.😄 I kept pausing to relate to me and my life and my marriage. I learned from this book. I definitely recommend it.

posts: 399   ·   registered: Feb. 5th, 2014
id 7654817
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 sewardak (original poster member #50617) posted at 2:34 AM on Friday, September 9th, 2016

Oh I can only read bits and pieces. so triggery. she struggles with betraying herself by staying. I open it, read a paragraph, and then shut the book.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 7655956
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Lionne ( member #25560) posted at 6:48 AM on Monday, September 12th, 2016

I'm finding it to be wonderful. Her journey to heal, with or without the marriage was just inspiring.

Me-BS-65 in May<BR />HIM-SAFWH-68<BR />I just wanted a normal life.<BR />Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8529   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 7658428
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bw900 ( member #47732) posted at 10:32 PM on Wednesday, September 14th, 2016

I'm starting Chapter 3 and have already highlighted several passages on my kindle. I haven't even read to the infidelity part yet! The pain some of us feel growing up, starting at about age 10 or even 11, may be part of how I got to this place, a (partly) broken woman in a M with a (partly) broken man. I think the author describes some of that pain very well.

Me: BW 68 (59 at dday) WH: 69 (60 at dday)D-day 1/2015 EA/PA 1.25 year w/COW M 31 yrs, 4 grown kids Reconciling, which is not easy! Still Grieving what I thought our M was and who I thought he was

posts: 265   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7661021
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bw900 ( member #47732) posted at 7:01 PM on Friday, September 30th, 2016

I finished it and have a few pages of highlighted passages where I think she captures inner thoughts and feelings that I have had and felt, but couldn't put into words or express safely out loud.

I gave it 4 out of 5 stars, though, because near the end it seemed a bit too heavily philosophical and repetitive. I pushed myself to finish before the library took it back.

At least I did finish it. Since dday it has been very hard to finish anything very quickly.

Me: BW 68 (59 at dday) WH: 69 (60 at dday)D-day 1/2015 EA/PA 1.25 year w/COW M 31 yrs, 4 grown kids Reconciling, which is not easy! Still Grieving what I thought our M was and who I thought he was

posts: 265   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7674825
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williteverstop ( member #45995) posted at 4:32 PM on Tuesday, October 18th, 2016

An amazing memoir! I thought to myself after finishing it: "If she can rise up after all of that!!! I've got this too"

Me: BW
Married 33 years
2 sons
D-day 1 Nov 2013 (WH admitted only to texting)
D-day 2 April 2014 I bought software to see those texts and it was a PA
D-day 3 Sept 2016 he admitted to telling her ILY

posts: 143   ·   registered: Dec. 17th, 2014
id 7687401
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notcopingwell ( member #50084) posted at 12:24 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2016

I started reading it yesterday and finished it tonight. I found it to be incredibly confronting. Most of the first chapter I could have written myself. I totally related to Glennon's childhood and even to parts of her marriage.

I started crying three times while reading. I have an IC appointment tomorrow and am taking the book with me.

I'm trying hard to R with my WH but many things keep stopping me from putting my heart and soul on the line. Glennon's story gave me hooe and made me feel confident that I will make whatever decision is right for me.

I really recommend reading this book :)

Me 40 female
Him 50's
14 years together
Visiting strip clubs, prostitutes, "high end" escorts, lying, cheating...you name it. ALL of his entire adult life.

posts: 216   ·   registered: Oct. 26th, 2015
id 7691715
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 sewardak (original poster member #50617) posted at 12:34 PM on Monday, November 14th, 2016

ugh. she just revealed she's in another relationship already. I can't help think that was the reason behind her breakup of her marriage as it already have been started. maybe I'm being too cynical.

i would never introduce my kids to my next partner unless I was almost ready to marry. i'm now under the impression that she just does whatever she wants and justifies it by the importance of the feel good vibe. just a bad taste in my mouth right now.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 7706961
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Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 2:29 PM on Monday, November 14th, 2016

Yeah, I felt the same way about the announcement yesterday. Moving on already??

Like so many, she is probably afraid to be alone. It's a shame. She is painting a rosy picture of her ex husband's (STBX?) reaction and her kids. I question how much of that is real.

There are really no ill feelings? None at all? Not buying it.

She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

posts: 7772   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2006   ·   location: Poolside
id 7707013
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 sewardak (original poster member #50617) posted at 4:27 PM on Monday, November 14th, 2016

separated = still married. ugh. can't do the respect thing anymore with her then.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 7707066
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HowIsThisReal ( member #50235) posted at 3:17 AM on Monday, November 21st, 2016

I have been hesitant to read this book, because they end up D'ing anyway. I feel maybe I'm not ready to read that they did all the "right work" and ended up D'd, the thought gives me anxiety.

Is anyone in active and decent R, and liking this book?

Me: BS | D-Day 11/3/2015

Took about 5 years of hard work, but we are R'd.

posts: 861   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2015
id 7711479
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demolishedinside ( member #47839) posted at 11:05 PM on Wednesday, November 30th, 2016

I liked it but I read it knowing it would trigger the heck out of me. Much of it resonated with me and I appreciated her honesty. I felt...validated? There were sections that were hard to read.

When she announced the new relationship so soon...I was disappointed. I feel like this all must be very hard for the kids. It's like she is following good feelings and not taking a breath, though I realize she didn't start the book until maybe two years after dday.

Still, I appreciated the message and what she learned.

BS - me/3 kids
DD - April 2015 / SA-Jan. 28, 2017
DD2- October 23, 2018
Divorced and happy

posts: 2073   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2015
id 7718261
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Hope24 ( member #9344) posted at 2:41 PM on Sunday, December 11th, 2016

I have been hesitant to read this book, because they end up D'ing anyway. I feel maybe I'm not ready to read that they did all the "right work" and ended up D'd, the thought gives me anxiety.

Is anyone in active and decent R, and liking this book?

This is not a book about how to reconcile after infidelity. The author makes it very clear that she is neither pro-R or pro-D. It's really about overcoming your inner demons (she battled alcohol addiction), learning to trust oneself and listening to your inner voice. Ultimately, it's about self-love.

Honestly, it's a great read.

She packed up her potential and all she had learned and headed out to change a few things.

posts: 7772   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2006   ·   location: Poolside
id 7726171
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 sewardak (original poster member #50617) posted at 7:41 PM on Monday, December 12th, 2016

i just feel that she's been too indulgent, finding her own happy.

she started a relationship with another person, while still married, and introduced that person to the kids. i just can't get behind that. until im ready/close to marrying someone, my kids will never meet the person i date after my marriage to their father ended. it's the rebound person and I can't think that this one will last.

give it time, let the kids get used to the fact that their parents are divorcing, then give more time. she jumped into this way too fast and it's all to follow her own truth.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 7727245
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million pieces ( member #27539) posted at 2:16 PM on Monday, December 26th, 2016

I think separated means different things to people. Some states allow a divorce in weeks, some take years. I do think introductions to kids should wait, but certainly not right before you get married. Family dynamics is pretty much the number one cause of second marriages ending, you need to work on that before you get married. I waited a year for my kids for my fiance and it seems to have worked out well.

Anyway, her announcement did trouble me a bit. Has she been struggling with her sexual orientation for years, whole life? And if so, if she wasn't honest about that struggle, why should I believe her other struggles.

I did get to see her talk in person at my church last year, it really moved me and my friends and I walked away with some powerful quotes. Not sure what I feel right now....

Me - 52 D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later, Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

posts: 2040   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2010   ·   location: MD
id 7738447
Topic is Sleeping.
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