I love this! I'm still working through things, but overall the reality has not been as bad as I feared.
Fear: How will I be able to afford living in this big house by myself?
Reality: Silly me, I realized I had already been doing this since November, when he stopped contributing ANY money to the household. And since I'm not longer paying for his car pymt, gas, and personal (private!) credit cards, I have more money than I ever did before.
Fear: How will I handle repairs and projects around here without his help?
Reality: I've surprised and impressed myself with the things I've been able to handle on my own. Some of the things I perceived as difficult, like maintaining the hot tub, have turned out to be super easy. Why could he never seem to manage it??
Fear: My life will be so empty and lonely. How will I fill up my days?
Reality: The sad truth is I spent the last 9 mos or so of our marriage sitting at home alone waiting for him to come home, and pleading with him to spend time with me. Now that he's gone, I'm very busy! Out with friends, taking dance classes, seeing movies. Life is full to the brim and the days are flying by.
Fear: I have no family nearby. What if my car breaks down or I'm stranded somewhere? Who am I going to call??
Reality: For about $10 per year I added 24hour roadside assistance to my auto insurance policy.
Fear: As mentioned above, I have no family nearby. The holidays will be here before you know it, and I'll be all alone!!
Reality: My step-daughter has already invited me to both Thanksgiving and Christmas at her house. She does not want to deal with OW, so she and XWH are not being invited. Now, granted the holidays are months away... XWH may crash her plans or guilt her into changing them. But for now, it feels really good to be thought of and included.
Fear: I'm so isolated here! I don't know any of my neighbors. They have always excluded us from their frequent gatherings.
Reality: The very day XWH moved out, my next door neighbor came over to see if I was okay. This is a woman I've lived next to for 8 years and exchanged maybe half a dozen sentences. She said, "I know what you're going through is hard. I wish I could say I'm sorry, but you're too nice for him." I was FLOORED. All the neighbors hated him! Now they've adopted me... helping with projects, lending tools etc, including me in BBQ's and get-togethers. This was totally unexpected and has completely changed how I feel about living here.
It's true you never really know how strong you are until you have no other choice but to BE strong.
[This message edited by gypsybird87 at 1:03 PM, July 9th (Tuesday)]