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Newest Member: notsureifishouldbehere

The Book Club :
Marriage Fitness/ Mort Fertel ?

Topic is Sleeping.

 mommy41 (original poster member #28469) posted at 1:59 AM on Monday, May 10th, 2010

Is anyone familiar with this program and has an opinion?

I stumbled across him a bit before DDay and started getting his emails about relationship issues. They seemed very insightful and gave me something to think about.

One day the 'message of the day' really spoke to me and I spent the $400 (which I really can't afford) to join the program. I've had one teleconference and have just glanced over the book and materials. After reading more on this site, I am not so sure about him anymore....not sure it's worth trying trying with my very foggy WH.

I'd love to hear other opinions.

Me: 41
WH: 41
Married 6 years
One DD, 6
DDay#1: 3/15/10...internet affair while he was deployed. Found out the day after he came home.
DD#2 & 3 in May 2010
Kind of R I guess.

posts: 75   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2010
id 4577458

Cally60 ( member #23437) posted at 4:40 AM on Monday, May 10th, 2010

I haven't tried his full programme. I did buy his audio CDs, though, but have only listened to the first one as I didn't find that they held my interest the way some other marriage-related CDs have.

I am really posting to say that if you decide you want to return the materials for a refund, you might want to read the comments on the refunds for this course at first. (They may help you avoid the potential refund pitfalls.)

[This message edited by Cally60 at 11:16 PM, May 9th (Sunday)]

posts: 2478   ·   registered: Mar. 30th, 2009   ·   location: California
id 4577700

 mommy41 (original poster member #28469) posted at 4:35 PM on Monday, May 10th, 2010

Thank you Cally. I'd actually done a google search soon after I got them and saw that.

I don't really want to talk to the guy before returning, but if that's what I have to do, I'll do it.

Me: 41
WH: 41
Married 6 years
One DD, 6
DDay#1: 3/15/10...internet affair while he was deployed. Found out the day after he came home.
DD#2 & 3 in May 2010
Kind of R I guess.

posts: 75   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2010
id 4578307

lovesucks ( new member #44562) posted at 5:15 AM on Saturday, November 29th, 2014

I found the whole program to be a waist of money. If you just read his one book, Marriage Fitness, that is really the whole program. He said during the sales part that you get so many hours of phone conferences with him too. What they gloss over is it that they are simply one way lectures. You get one evening for Q&A and you email them to him before the call and there is no way that everyone gets to ask a question. I was disappointed with it because the one night they had the ask a question night I had to work. And my wife and I have had a story not mentioned elsewhere so it would have been nice to get his opinion. Then they did tell me I could buy private phone time at about 600 an hour.

So far best help to me has been at

Me (BS)- 61
Her (WS)- 53
Married 33 years
Found out first time 2-14-98
Found out 2-19-2014

posts: 13   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2014   ·   location: USA
id 7025443

lovemywife4ever ( member #42834) posted at 1:43 PM on Saturday, November 29th, 2014

I signed up for the emails. Never did the program. Wife blew a gasket when she read the emails as they seemed to promote blameshifting, not pushing the betrayed to have the cheater end the affair, and other things that kind of go against what we all hear. One email said the betrayed should keep quiet and let it end on its own in due time. Wife literally told me the guy's not qualified to walk the dog after reading that. Just be careful and pull what info is truly needed if you do.

Her-BS (deena04)
Upper 30s and kids at home (hers/mine/ours)
Cheater-me 2.5 years into relationship, 2 months before engagement, 1.5 year before M...this is not an excuse but a timeline of our life
Now: real love and maturing

posts: 461   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2014
id 7025576

notperfect5 ( member #43330) posted at 6:37 PM on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2014

Mort's message pushes for the attraction side. Make you attractive and the one to be with. That's great, but if you spouse is having an active affair, it just makes the cake eating sweeter.

My WW got this for us while she was having an affair. I jumped into it, as well as 'Love Dare'. But guess what, the affair kept right on going and didn't help a bit to make my marriage better. When I found out she was having an affair, this just added to the "pick me, pick me!" dance I was doing.

Now, looking at the box on my shelf, it makes me sick. I was bending over backwards trying to make me a "shinier bobble" for her. I made her cake eating even sweeter.

So, I can't say that I gave it a fair try. It might be a while before I can try it again. But this will not help a bit if they don't have fidelity.

On the plus side for Mort, is that our MC is kind of pushing the same stuff. So Mort is less expensive than our MC.

Good Luck mommy41!!

Me: 55 BH Her: 52 WW - Edith12
DDay 8/13 EA, fake R
Turned PA on 4/27/14 and fake R
PA during MC and my IC and her IC through 12/14
Polygraph on 4/30/15, TT 5/5/15.. TT on 10/4/15, 2nd Poly and TT 11/17/15
DD's 23, 21, 18, 15 DS

posts: 1222   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2014   ·   location: Southeast
id 7029688

broken1873 ( member #44564) posted at 7:31 PM on Monday, December 8th, 2014

I too looked into this & just posted a question about it also. Seems that everyone is saying it's a waste of money so I'm choosing to not purchase, but I do agree, his emails suck you in! THey hit home a lot but seems I can get this kind of info from other sources for less money. I've already purchased 5 books! and I hate to read!

Partnered: 11 years
Me(female): 41
Her: 35
Dday: Aug 7, 2014 (one time event in June 2014)
Working on reconciliation.

Facing the most pain I've ever endured but will persevere no matter where that takes me.

posts: 371   ·   registered: Aug. 19th, 2014   ·   location: PA - Currently La La Land
id 7035316
Topic is Sleeping.
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