Partner received intimate videos from ex

I really need some help!

2 days ago, I found some videos on my partners phone. The videos were of his ex pleasuring herself. They were sent over snap chat and my partner had recorded them for his own sexual gratification (which he has confirmed with me) I have been with him 20 years and this was 3.5 years ago. We have had it out in terms of arguing crying, all the emotions you could possible think off. He shares a child with his ex who is an adult now and we share 2 young children together too. The ex was not a very good mother and I found myself at 18 , meeting a man , falling in love him and basically bringing his child up due to the mothers sever neglect. I have been a good mother to our children etc etc so I am at a lost end as to why this has happened. It was during lockdown, he said she had messaged and one thing led to another but I feel absolutely betrayed not just on a partner level but on a mother level that he could do and treat me this way. He has been very apologetic as you can imagine and assured me he can’t believe why he risked me and our children for this "5minutes of joy" as he calls it. But I just don’t no how to feel right now. I understand it was a long time ago and he hasn’t physically been intimate with her but when I say he despises this women he really does (well I thought he did) we have had extreme
Neglect reports from social services all from the child’s age of 4 till 16. And feel completely mugged off, hurt and sickened that he has and she has managed to pleasure each other. He assures me it could have been any one she just so happened messaged but I can’t shift the feeling that they both encouraged each other to do what they have done . Thank you for reading

6 comments posted: Tuesday, December 10th, 2024