Serial cheating

Dealing with aftermath of being cheated on.

My bf has had sex multiple times with other girls and even had a threesome with a girl and his friend in OUR bed when I wasn't home.

It started with messaging a girl in another country on IG for the entirity of our relationship. I found out.  He told me he only did this because there was no chance of them meeting irl. Begged to work things out and was sorry..

Then a year later a girl contacted me.. he had oral sex with a girl on his trip, which contradicted what he said about not meeting irl and actually having sex. After expressing his regret he told me he doesn't consider it cheating if he comes back home to me and doesnt contact the girl after. He opened the conversation about wanting an open relationship. I didn't want this and I also told him that while some couples have this agreement, we didnt have this agreement, and he knows that very very well, thus making it still cheating.. I needed some time to think what i wanted but when I got hysterical after seeing a girl take a photo of us and then asking for his IG i realized i can't do an open relationship. 

Later we broke up due to other reasons, and then got back together. He met some girl during our break up and then continued talking to her after we got back together without me knowing. His friend was visiting and since i still had an apprtmnt from the time we broke up i slept there and his friend stayed over. 5 weeks later he is achting weird distant never said i love you etc but denied anything being wrong, asking why I make problems where there aren't any. He also asked me during this conversation if i know something? No? Then why assume there is something? This comment made me suspicious so i looked through his phone and i found a chat with this girl, talking about videos she owes him and then a bunch of suggestive (sex)talk, how she will show him the video's irl if he wants more and shell make him come fast. He went to her right before having dinner with his friends and half an hour later they message again (in suggestive language)  about  how good it was so they had sex. Couldn't see the video's they were talking about so i went to his gallery to find 2 video's of them having sex with his friend that was staying over (threesome). So  not only did he have sex with her, they had a threesome IN OUR BED on the night i went away ( wich i did back then so his friend could comfortably crash in his house) 

When i found out i confronted him the day after and he expressed how sorry he was and that he is a piece of shit and i deserve better but he can't lose me. I made him tell her he had a girlfriend and made him block her right away. He said that he will do anything to make me feel better and to take care of me. I asked him to tell me what happened in detail and he also mentioned they cleaned the sheets (that comment just gave me the ick really. Just exactly what the hell did they do the three of them?) before i and his parents came since they were visiting the day after the threesome happened.

I walked around like a zombie for 1.5 weeks and started loosening up a little bit, but it's hard for me to be physical and to open up to him again.

I still have many questions unanswered and feel disgusted  sleeping in the same bed it happened and it is making my head spin and i am imagining the worst. I want to know the specific sexual things they did anal/dp/.. because my brain will make it into a fantasy which may be far worst than the (already disgusting) truth.

He feels that I still can't be intimate with him and naturally starts pulling away now too.

I stayed both times.

I could get past the messaging and somehow I could get past the oral sex situation.

The threesome and the actual sex he had really devastated me and has cracked something in me ever since. I am not able to be intimate with him anymore and am not proud of myself for staying even though this time I really realized how shitty my relationship is. yet I still stay and yet I don't know how I can repair this relationship back to how it should be.

10 comments posted: Tuesday, December 10th, 2024