Been on the fence so long my splinters have taken root.

I Know Life's Not Fair, But --

I (BH/66) caught her (WW/55) 8 years ago in what turned out to be a(n) (at least) 3 1/2 year (supposedly) emotional only (yeah right) affair with old BF from a relationship some 25 years prior (we've been married 20 years). It's possible it was an EA only because I know from intercepted texts and other details he is impotent - doesn't mean she didn't TRY though, right? Isn't trying the same as a PA? I think it is.

Enough details for now.

I never actually made a decision to stay - I just never left - if that makes any sense. Since I'm still here, I guess we're "reconciling".

My situation is this:

My WW has 3 love stories. 1) Us when we meet. 2) Her and her AP's love story. 3) Her falling back in love with me and being forgiven, love story. Beautiful romances all of them!

I have no love story. Us? - she destroyed that love story. I'm a romantic guy. I loved our original love story. Now, I have nothing.

She gets to live the rest of her life realizing her BH took her back and forgave her. What a GREAT story of love!!

What's mine? My cheating wife came back to me? Not much to feel good about there.

Just more of the unfairness of the situation that I can't get out of my mind.

Any one have any helpful ideas to reframe my thought process?

Or is this just something else I need to learn to forget about, stuff way down into the deep recesses of my brain, and hope/pray it (and all the others) never see the light of day again?

19 comments posted: Wednesday, October 16th, 2024