Found out last week about affair

In 2022 my husband came to me and told me he wasn’t happy with how things were in our marriage. I recognized at the time my part in the breakdown (and I still take ownership to this day). One of the first questions I asked him, is there someone else? He told me no. Over the next 2 years I’ve asked at least 2 other times. Each time again I was told no.
There was an argument early February that led to him telling me he wanted a separation. He remained in our house. I’ve always felt that there was more to what was going on with him than he was telling me but I had no proof of anything. I finally did a deeper dive last week and snooped on his computer and found some emails dating back to 2022. It confirmed that he was having an affair. I was crushed like everyone else when they find out. I confronted him and he initially was going to deny until I told him I had proof. He admitted to it and said it had been over a few months. We took time apart this last weekend and had a very open, honest, and painful conversation. We have decided on working to repair the marriage with us each putting in effort and working on our own healing.

This is absolutely a shortened version but I have a couple of questions for the community.

I still have more questions/clarifications I want from him but I want to set a time to sit down and talk and have quality conversations about everything.

One of our family vacations now has a black mark on it bc the affair and emails were going on during that time. How do I not get triggered now when I see pictures or mementos? How do you handle that? How does every good memory not get clouded now?

9 comments posted: Thursday, March 21st, 2024