I think he cheated...

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum, so please bare with me if this not the norm.

Part of me thinks my husband of 18 years has cheated on me. Part of me thinks I've read to many message boards and I'm just being paranoid.

On New Year's Eve, after spending several hours at a party, we came home and were watching TV. We had both had quite a lot to drink. (*I think in the back of my mind there have been times when I thought maybe my husband cheated. He's gone on golf trips, one work trip, spent some weird time away from home early on in our marriage, and some of those times I've felt something was off in my gut. But, I couldn't put my finger on what was off, so I let it go.)

On NYE, I looked at him and point blank asked if he had ever cheated on me. Both times he said no. But it's not what he said, it was his body language- deer in headlights look, stiff body, almost scared. I let it go.

The next day, he acted like I never asked it.

^^His response and the next day reaction are all off for our normal communication. He normally would've said hey do you remember asking me this? He would've expected it to be something we laughed about.

And then two night later, he came to bed after I was asleep, he had had a couple of beers and he says I love you. (pause) I'm sorry.

I waited a few seconds and I ask, why are you sorry? He goes, oh no- you are trying to bait me.

I just let that drop and haven't mentioned anything. But we are 5 days out and things are not what they usually are with us. He is very cautious around me right now.

I feel like I'm rambling. I also feel like I'm looking way too into this. I also feel like I don't really want to know. But I also feel like I should know...

Does anyone have any feedback on what next steps for me might be?

TIA

11 comments posted: Saturday, January 6th, 2024