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woodsracer

How to access the investigative forum?

I have the number up required posts and an upgraded subscription, what else do I have to do? I had sent a message on the site but no response yet.

2 comments posted: Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

Attempting Reconciliation-Post Nup Question

My original post is in the General Forums about red flags. I suspect that my wife has cheated and I blew any chance I had of really gathering proof because I came out of the gate right way. I wish I had known about this forum sooner.

She has sworn that she has never been unfaithful and I just don't believe her. I don't want to break up my family unless I have proof, which may not happen. I was thinking though of telling her that we will need to have attorneys draft a post nuptial agreement that would basically say that if either spouse has or does commit infidelity then the divorce settlement would be heavily favored financially to the non cheating spouse.

We will be empty nesters in 2 years and I feel she may be just waiting until they are gone and then I would see what was really up. I figure if she has cheated she will not want to sign anything and if she hasn't why not. Would also benefit her financially in case of infidelity on my part.

Anyone ever done something like this or have any feed back?

22 comments posted: Saturday, July 29th, 2023

I believe spouse has cheated, no proof but plenty of red flags

This all started about 3 years ago.
Red Flag #1
We were away on vacation at beach and I was looking through wifes phone at pics from the beach that day. Started seeing a good number of nude pics of her as well. Didn't really know what the "hidden" feature was at the time but once I found out about it I looked at her hidden pics and she had a bunch more, nude but not explicit and of only her. When I asked her about them she said she had exercising very hard and was really proud of her body post kids. She has always worked out and did look as good as she did pre kids and wanted the pics for herself. She only shared a few of the 30 or so pics with me over the course of about a year.

Red Flag #2
I started snooping at the time and saw that she had snapchat and only 3-4 contacts one being a bar tender at a local bar we eat at a few times a month, the others just as random, moms from school that she didn't like. When I dug in about them she said people just added her and that it was nothing and didn't think anything of it.. I did get a download of all snap data amounts and its was basically unused. So could be true

Red Flag #3
During covid when everything was shutting down early she and a girlfriend went out to a bar/restaurant and got home around 2:15 am. I was out of town and saw the alarm notification. Concern is I called the place the next day and they closed at midnight. She said that her and girlfriend just sat and talked for an hour, then talked for another 30 minutes when she was dropping her at home. My wife can talk easily for 2-3 hours with certain friends. Again, slightly concerning but not our of the realm of being true.

Red Flag #4
About a year ago I saw a text pop up on her phone, no name just a number, I attempted to memorize the number and wrote it down. A few months later, I was communicating with a male work contact and realized the number was very similar to the number I attempted to remember and he lived in the area of the bar my wife was at the night she got home very late. I could have been wrong once I wrote the number down or it could have been this guy or I could have just been off with my memory, but I def am concerned.

Red Flag #5
My wife was out with friends of ours at a bar/nightclub at the beach. I was going up the next day. My buddy sent me a video of my wife and his dancing and talking to a couple much younger men that were family friends of theirs. In the video I can see my wife scroll through phone and show the guy a pic of her boobs. They all laughed and then kind of went back to themselves. I was quite pissed about this and the next day when I arrived the story was that the guys were showing them texts that they get from girls their age and the girls are all sending nude texts like its nothing so my wife said "mine are better" and then showed the pic of hers. It was all in a group and laughing, but still....... When we were out with the couple the next night the women were talking about how crazy it is that these guys have all of the females sending them nude pics like its nothing, so the story checks out. But still. Not something I expected from my wife.

Our marriage was in a rough spot for a while so we were having what I would call duty sex 3-4 times a month for a couple years that seemed to align with the red flags.

We spoke at length about all of this and she swears she has never been unfaithful, swore on kids, parents all of that. Let me look through her phone a couple times for things which I found nothing. Then changed her passwords after a month or so. I don't think she had any google phone lines or any of that, but who knows. Anyway, I have no hard proof of infidelity but just feel like it happened. Need guidance.

She knows that if I found out she cheated the marriage would be over and I feel that if she is lying about it, it is because of our kids.

61 comments posted: Wednesday, June 14th, 2023

I believe spouse has cheated, no proof but plenty of red flags (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

0 comment posted: Saturday, June 10th, 2023

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