New here posting my story

Hello everyone I'm a 26 year old BH my wife is 23 we have been married 4 years and I guess I'll start from the beginning. I started dating my WW when she was 16 and I was 20 she was my sister's best friend and she told me after she had a crush on me since she was 14. I was a young Marine that was stationed in California and eventually deployed. So most of our relationships in that time was long distance. We saw each other when I would go on leave or she could fly out to see me. Shortly after my return from my deployment I got out of the Marine Corps and we got married in 2019 she was 19 I was 23. We had our issues on both sides but we were in love. Problems really started when I got heavily involved with a Motorcycle club. My wife was extremely supportive about the club she would go to events and ride with me any chance she got. I developed a strong friendship with one of my club "brothers." I confided in him about the issues I was having in my marriage, why because I saw him like a big brother that I wanted to impress. He actually got me the job I'm working now that makes well over 6 figures. So I was really grateful you know. I had issues with porn which was one of the bigger problems in my marriage but I was working on it and my wife for the most part was understanding and tried to help me beat it. It took a while for us to get to where she was understanding a lot of fights but we were young and immature I don't hold that against her at all. Little did I know my club brother who at this time in 2020 was my best friend was setting me up every time we went out he would get girls social media and phone # and put them on my phone and me like a naive idiot let him because I wanted to look cool and the club to respect me. I never contacted these women or even cared for them most of the time I would delete the number the day after. So I figured no harm I'm not doing anything and I still look cool. Well my best friend would then turn around and tell my wife that I'm cheating on her every time we go out, to check my phone or my social media there she would find the "proof." My wife didn't believe him at first but she didn't tell me anything I'm assuming because she didn't fully trust me due to my porn problem. I eventually saw all the texts but he told her so many lies things like. "I love you he doesn't love you, I can give you everything he can't, you'll never leave him and he'll take advantage of you forever, I try to stop him from cheating but he says he can do whatever he wants, and so much more." I mean it was hundreds of lies that went on for months. Eventually my wife fell for it after long story he set me up with a bartender ex stripper while I was extremely intoxicated and he brought me to her house because she was interested in me and even while drunk I told her no. My club brothers made fun of me and said I was gay. Thankfully my cousin was DD that day and could confirm the story. I told my wife the truth but she didn't believe me because my best friend told her first that I was planning on cheating and to check my location that night. Which then she contacted the bartender she confirmed nothing happened but my best friend told her the club threatened her to keep her mouth shut. My wife became depressed started drinking a lot and my best friend Eventually started selling her cocaine. She got addicted and one day she went to his house to pick some up he made a move and she didn't stop him. Eventually my wife realized he was just using her because he started acting differently towards her after that night. But he still forced himself on her a couple times after that. I remember her telling me she wasn't comfortable around him anymore. So I had a talk with him and settled that thinking he was just a little hands on while drunk, we fought over it but nothing super serious. Club over everything was the motto fucking stupid. My bestfriend and I became distant my wife kept this secret from me for 3 years and, I never learned about this until Feb 17th 2023 the reason I found out was because Feb 5th 2023 my wife told me she was leaving me to be "on her own." I knew that was bs and figured there was someone else but had no proof so I got on her phone. I confirmed there was someone else (so this is her 2nd time stepping out of the marriage) on Feb 7th her old manager who got fired for stealing Jan 25th. It was an EA that turned into a PA. She works a retail job, he's 30 has worked retail for the last decade makes less then 40k a year lives with his mom got his GED at 21 is on the chunkier side while I've maintained my lean and muscular body and is rude to his employees and customers how do I know because I met him back in Sep 2022 when she first started working there and he was really rude to me, when I mentioned to her that hes an asshole she just said, "yeah he can be." She gave me all the cliche excuses he's just a friend we haven't done anything blah blah. Then came the I love you but I'm not in love with you, he actually cares for me. You know the changing of history only remembering bad times never being happy. Eventually came I never loved you I hate you you're the worst thing that ever happened to me I wish I never met you. I made a mistake marrying you I wish I married him etc. I exonerated myself from the one night stand I was accused of and all the other lies with the help of my cousin, she told me she believes me now that I never cheated, and that my bestfriend played all these mind games with her but it's too late she wants to be with her new AP. She moved out Feb 23rd still has most of her stuff at my place, yet is keeping all the photo albums the ring, and all the gifts I've gotten her over the years. My wife is so sentimental she would treasure rocks she would find while walking with me and kept all the recipts of our times spent together. She took all the cards I've written her origami I've made her etc. The night she was leaving I started throwing out all memories of her. She watched peaking from the bathroom I pretended not to notice her. After I finished she took all the things out the trash and hid them from me. I got pretty drunk and I confronted her about it. She said she's sentimental and she wants to keep it and is hiding it because she's afraid I'll burn it. I scoffed and left the room. Came back 10 mins later to find her sobbing on the bathroom floor. I asked why she's crying she said because it's hard and she still loves me. I didn't know what to say or do so I just left (that was right after she told me she hated me and never loved me so obviously I was a little confused as to what to believe) After she left she came back 2 days later to get more stuff and was extremely cold and hostile towards me I stood my ground and enforced my boundaries. She took our cat and told me I'll never see him again knowing I was really attached to him. I didn't hear from her for about a month until it was time to do taxes I called her. She seemed pleasantly surprised to hear from me and was kind and understanding. Every time we have met up since for business stuff she talks to me like nothing happened telling me about her day and what's stressing her out etc. No mention of divorce. I'm devoutly Catholic so I don't believe in divorce and desperately want to reconcile. If we don't my conscience won't let me remarry she knows this because she once held the same beliefs, now not so much. Her family is extremely supportive of me and my goal they don't know about the infidelity I only told her brother whom she was extremely close with and now they don't speak since he's also a devoted Catholic and is disgusted by her actions. I believe it's only a matter of time before she realizes this guy is a bad person, I read all their texts between Jan 26th until Feb 17th. Hes got her smoking weed now and was encouraging her to stay out late with him and that I was controlling and he helped her find a cheap halfway house basically, she still hasnt told me where shes living now only reason I know is because I went through her phone. Some days I'm terrified she won't come out of this fog or limerence. Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated.

9 comments posted: Wednesday, May 10th, 2023