Can't get over it

Hi everybody, I'm a 28 years old woman. I have immigrated 8 month ago without my husband(because of legal work) and he were supposed to join me in a few month. during this alone time I was always suggesting to him to have fun and spend time with his friends. after a long time he started a friendship with his colleges and the sister of one of them. everything was fine till I felt something is wrong and we started fighting because he get too close to that girl they were talking about their interest in sex! this was the first red flag for me and I felt that he is crossing a line here that it's not accepted for me. then they went to
a trip together (all the friends) and again I felt bad about this situation. Then he has started to lie to me. like once I called him on meet and some how I could see that he is walking out of our bed room to another room before answering my call. I asked what are you doing and he said I was sleep! (later I realized that they were together that day.)
Suddenly I decided to go back to my country and I could see that he is not happy at all. when I arrived after a few days I checked his cell phone and I saw the messages he sent to her are deleted since the day I arrived!
he confused to me that he was dating her but they didn't have sex and it was just hugging and flirting!
this confession destroyed me. I was devastated and broken, so my mom told me that when she went to our house before my arrival to clean the house she has seen candles from the entrance to the bedroom and stuff like this.
after a week of fighting and discussions he said that he is sorry and if he goes back he is not going to do this again, and to forget about this and start over.
I accepted this apology and I came back. but deep inside I feel bad, all the things that I saw and happened, they are all in my mind, and even he said that he is sorry I have the impression that now I left him alone, he is going to contact her again. I can't believe him when he says he loves me, even he got me a lot of gifts, and we spent great days before I come back here, I'm afraid. when I call him and he doesn't answer, the first thing I think about is that he is with that girl again, I feel insecure and alone. what if it is another lie? I don't know how to get over this situation.

3 comments posted: Tuesday, May 9th, 2023