Trying to make marriage work

I found out about my husbands multiple cheating 5 months ago. We have been married 13 years, over the last 9 years he has had 8 relationships for various lengths and a few other one off dates, The strange thing is that although I was suspicious I felt like we got on well. I truly enjoyed our time together. He worked a lot and we currently live in different countries due to work (The last 2 years). We chatted every day on the phone, a 30 min conversation and then many texts and little chats throughout the day. I felt like we were making long distance work, even better than when we had lived together. I have been through many emotions, considered leaving but I can't imagine my life without him, we have 2 daughters, a great house, he knows me and we have fun together. I can't imagine building what I thought we had with anyone else. We are doing counselling and I do find it helpful, he is also doing personal counselling and he's working through all sorts of things and sharing openly with me. I feel so alone though. I feel like he has lied and cheated so much that I should leave. My sister says if he has done all this he doesn't love me and that I don't know what love is and I should leave. I have shared with a few close friends who have been an amazing support when I couldn't look after my daughters due to depression. But some do feel I should leave and it creates an awkwardness to our friendship. I still feel a frequent pain and heaviness, I feel alone. I cry often but don't feel I can explain my tears to others as I feel I will be judged for trying to forgive and make it work. I do worry that he will cheat and lie again and almost want some sort of revenge for all the years I've been the gentle, trusting, faithful wife while he's lived a secret single life. It feels freeing to share, it has been good to read others stories, thank you

7 comments posted: Friday, October 28th, 2022