Am I wrong or just crazy?

I have never posted before... And my first go is this very personal and embarrassing thing! I have written this and deleted it over and over again for hours. I am finally posting it because I would really appreciate an honest opinion(s) and – or any guidance.

Jumping right into the deep end of the pool....

He told me he has "done nothing wrong." I am "making sh*t up." "It is not an affair if he didn't have sex with her." "Emotional affairs are not real." He maintains he "did nothing wrong" and I "just need to get over it."

So I asked him to honestly answer the following questions:
Do you look forward to going to work so you can see her, have lunch with her, talk with her, spend time with her, steal away some one- on- one time with her? (Yes.)
Do you want to have sex with her? (Yes.) He even elaborated. (I have fantasies about her all the time. I have sex fantasise about her and about having sex with her. I wonder what it would be like to be with her, to have sex with her, what it would feel like. I fantasise about her moaning my name when we have sex.) He went into much graphic details of his continuous sex fantasies about her and other desires. In addition, to day dreaming about what it would be like to be in a relationship with her.
Do you think about her when you are apart? (Yes.) Again stating his fantasies involving her.
Do you flirt with her at work? (Yes.)
Do you email her and stay in communication with her? (Yes.) He told me he initiate contact with her in person and via emails.
Do you stop working to visit her in her department? (Yes. I like spending time with her. She makes me feel good. I look forward to seeing her everyday. She is the best part of my day.)
When I was trying to work things out between us and you were so resistant. Why was that? (Because I was weighing out my options. If you would just act right and things went back to the way they were then I would stay with you but if not I would go be with her.)
And after answering these question the way you just have, you still don't think you did anything wrong?! (Nope, because I didn't sleep with her. So I didn't do anything wrong.)

Am I overreacting? Am I wrong?

Because it hurts like hell to find this out, to hear those words come out of his mouth so easily. And for him to continue to treat me like sh*t because according to him, he did nothing wrong.

I do keep journal. Although, you just don't forget something so painful!

WOW! That was much more difficult than I even thought it would be! I feel so foolish.

17 comments posted: Monday, August 29th, 2022