BetrayedDad
D-Day 06 Jun 22 (Seriously)

Completely Lost

Hi all, I'm brand new here and I'll be honest, I don't really even know what I expect to get from this but really just needed to offload...

My wife of 10 years recently told me that she no longer loves me and when questioned admitted that she had been messaging a colleague of hers at work (turns out he is one of her bosses).

She has never actually met him as he lives in Scotland and we're in the south of England. Immediately many of you here are probably of the mindset that she hasn't actually cheated but a few weeks after she told me about him and swore it was over I caught her still messaging him and she admitted to sending pictures. I was devastated and genuinely suicidal, I sat pondering for nights how I could end it all but with 2 young kids, I don't think I could do that to them.

2 months later (thinking we were trying to fix our marriage) I caught her on her work laptop showing herself off to him while he was jerking off.

I am completely lost right now. I love my wife so much, she is the mother to my children and my best friend but I hate her too right now.

She has adamantly stated it is over and she feels terrible but after so much deceit and repeated lies, I just cannot trust her at all. The fact that she still works with him and talks to him on a daily basis has me reeling right now as I am desperate to rebuild our marriage and recover from this but just don't even know where to begin when I have to hear his voice knowing he is looking at her having seen her in a way that should be reserved for her other half. I am completely paranoid and just so emotionally drained.

I struggle to sleep, I have nightmares, I live in a constant state of anger just bubbling under the surface waiting to explode. I have no idea how to cope with these feelings.

Anyway, apologies for rambling, I just really needed to get this out as I can't talk to friends and family in case we one day do reconcile, I wouldn't want it to impact how they see her.

26 comments posted: Friday, August 5th, 2022