What helped you?

The lta, It’s the first thing I thing that comes up in my thoughts when I wake up but because I’m still half asleep I’m not awake enough to try and change my thoughts.

I wake up angry, hurt and I don’t want this. I want to consciously change this. It’s been every morning and many dreams for so long.

How did you care for yourself and work on changing this to other thoughts?

4 comments posted: Sunday, June 18th, 2023

AP just got engaged

So ws had a lta... and well the ap was single. So I didn't have a bs to tell.

After my h broke it off, she got together with this new guy maybe while she was with my ws. I don't know. Its been 2 years and I just saw that they got engaged. She wrote "this the the love I have been waiting for"

I dont feel much. She got this after she worked to destroy my marriage, selfish, immature...

This guy, he seems to have alot of what any woman would want. He also has two little kids... She seems set up for life now unless.... you know...

Id appreciate some thoughts .. I dont know what. Maybe I just want to say it out aloud to people who understand and feel my emptiness or whatever it is I'm feeling.

Where is the justice...

10 comments posted: Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

Acceptance

What does it mean to accept the A happened?

I feel so much pain thinking about it. But I also feel like i've accepted that it happened, so now I can move onto working on healing. I am also confused with what accepting it really means. I know it happened, I am aware of it, but I am heartbroken over it. Have I accepted it?

I don't believe that accepting it means I should be over it and pain free. Can someone help me understand what is going on please? I feel like i'm going a little crazy.

6 comments posted: Wednesday, February 15th, 2023

Not a book but I've read it mentioned here. Just can't find it

Hi,

Hope everyone is well.

I just signed up for Hulu and saw at some point there is a movie on it about an affair. I know there are a lot, which really make A almost romantic :(.

Anyway this movie tells the story of the agony of the BS. If anyone knows what I'm talking about I would love to know what its called.

Thanks.

Squish.

4 comments posted: Sunday, January 23rd, 2022

180, reconciliation, doing what makes me happy

Hi everyone,

I am the BS and yesterday while reading through the site I came across the 180. I feel like i'm doing this, well some of it. It's confusing because im also trying to get my boundaries together which I want to give to him.

we are almost 7 months in after D DAY. UGH But I am doing good... well the best I can be doing... im ignoring his A and taking time to take care of me. But I feel like me taking care of me might seem like im doing ok with his A... but im also not ready to give him all my boundaries and tell him what I want because I dont even know what they all are.

Does this make sense?

When do you give boundaries while on 180?

Are you in R when you are doing the 180?

ok thank you for reading. Maybe you can make sense of my questions.

Squish

5 comments posted: Thursday, January 13th, 2022