mediation tomorrow
We are trying to do this in as cheap a way as possible. We both have attorneys for our mediation tomorrow. Hoping we can get through this without the cost of going to court.
With that said, what do I need to have as non-negotiables for my mediation? What is something(s) that you misses when you went through mediation before or had someone tell you to do that could be helpful in helping me prepare for tomorrow.
Husband makes twice as much as I do and his pay will be going up drastically over the next several years. His cheating is what led to this divorce. We have two children ages 16 & 12. Been married 19 [almost 20--anniversary is July 28] years. Dated for 3 years before marriage.
I plan on going in asking for more than I want since this will be a compromise. Hoping by doing this I will get what is fair for my children and myself. We have already separated to different houses and have divided physical assets.
Here is what I have so far:
* custody will be 60/40-- he works 6 days on 4 days off
* Standard child support in my state is 20% for 1st child and 5% for each additional child. I will be asking for 20% child support
* He will insure kids for medical, vision, and dental.
* He will pay 80% of all medical bills
* He will be responsible for purchasing the kids their 1st vehicles
* He will be responsible for maintaining said vehicles
* He will pay for the kids car insurance on the kids vehicles
* He will pay the kids phone bills
* Kids are involved in extra curriculars that are pretty expensive. He will pay 80% of the costs incurred by these activities. I will pay 20% up to $1000 for each child in a years time.
* Any extra curriculars the kids are involved in prior to divorce will be paid by him
* Retirement accounts will be divided 50/50
* not alcohol or drugs at any time while the kids are present.
* Neither of us can introduce a new BF or GF to the children or have them sleep over while children are in our custody
* Neither of us can tell the kids that BF GF will be their new mom/dad
* Who ever is picking up must drive to the other parents house
* Vacations/trips must be discussed and agreed upon prior: 14 day for in state trips and 30 days for out of state/country trips.
* Kids will stay in current school system until graduation
* College fees/tuition will be paid upon a % of income. IF we decide to pay for the kids college expenses.
What am I missing?!
Please help
6 comments posted: Tuesday, June 29th, 2021
Everything is happening and I am afraid
Everything is happening all at once since I filed in February. It seemed like there was no movement....NONE.... and now its all happening at once and all the changes are scaring the Sh*t out of me.
It's all making me question what I am doing.
STBXWH and I moved out of our house last Saturday. I got to sleep in my new place one night and then had to take my daughter on a trip for school on Sunday and wont be home till Tuesday late. Wednesday I have a virtual work meeting all day, and STBXH wants me to meet him at our old house to help him finish up cleaning out the garage.
We are trying to decide if we want to place the money from the sale of our house in a trust until our mediation date June 30th. I'm torn on this and so is he.
My mother who lives 3+ hours away somehow contacted a person she knows in my town and trashed my STBXH and the rumor mills went crazy. The rumors came straight to him and he is pissed as am I! She was asked---TOLD--- to stay out of it. She likes chaos and likes to create drama. These new rumors are making it harder for H and I to work through the remaining details of our divorce. I found out this while I am 6 hours away on the trip with my daughter and can't do a thing about it.
Finally mediation is on June 30th. So many changes. So many tears.
Guys I'm terrified. I know I can't go back to my husband, but at the same time I don't want to cut that relationship loose. Am I crazy?
4 comments posted: Tuesday, June 1st, 2021
