cheated, divorcing & losing family

I cheated on my wife. I did not love or treasure her completely. This is the biggest regret and most painful episode in my life. We were married for almost 10 years and we have very young children.

I lost my wife, my family, extend family relationships, matrimonial home, dreams and more. My wife and my children also lost an intact nuclear family, their home and their dreams as well.

In Oct 2018, I joined and actively participated in an online sex forum. I was addicted, I was reckless and I met multiple women and we participated in group and individual sex. I made excuses and left my wife and children at home at night to meet these women on multiple occasions.

My wife, or STBXW, suspected I was cheating and warned me to stop. I did not stop. A few weeks later my STBXW tracked and confronted me at the apartment lobby of my AP.

I did not apologize or express remorse immediately. My STBXW was devasted. She revealed what she had found out. I terminated my participation in the sex forum and contact with of the women. A few weeks later she kicked me out of the house. I expressed remorse, made her promised and sought R.

A few months later, in early 2019, my STBXW relented and I got to move home to help take care of the children. To keep a long story short, it was a false R. I did not out in my full effort, I failed to fulfill all my promises to her. In early 2020, she decided there that the relationship has ended and filed for D.

The D proceedings were delayed for a few months due to Covid lockdown. In June this year, the proceedings resumed. In a few weeks, the divorce will be finalized.

My STBXW and my children have moved out 3 months ago. I lost my role as a husband and a full time father. My life has lost it meaning. Everything is empty.

She has since blocked all communications with me. Whatever I had or intend to say did not and will not change her mind.

I wanted my STBXW and my family back but it is too late. I destroyed my family, I destroyed whatever dreams and future plans we had.

I regretted cheating on my wife. I regretted not giving my 100% when my STBXW gave me opportunity to R almost two years ago.

5 comments posted: Wednesday, November 11th, 2020