Newest Member: chaoticdreamer


How did I misread it

I posted a while ago dating after 30 years.

I asked him to talk today and asked what he wanted out of this relationship. We had both said previously we didn't know what we were looking for and I reiterated that I thought that was fine as long as we were honest with one another. I said I felt there was an attraction and I was Ok acting on that if he could be patient with me because I needed to go slow because of my betrayal.

He said he wanted to be friends.

I don't understand why every time I saw him he invited me out again. He didn't always follow through with those plans, and when I'd ask he'd say he got busy, but that was exactly why I wanted to have this conversation. I'm glad I did, but I'm just very confused.

11 comments posted: Wednesday, February 15th, 2023

Dating after 30 years

My DD1 was nearly 3 years ago, at which point I threw him out. On our 26th wedding anniversary, I learned he was a SA (along with other addictions.) Disclosure took 16 months, and soon after I walked away from false reconciliation in the fall of 2021. Although he quickly started dating and met someone he's been in a relationship with for over a year, I kept focusing on my own recovery from the betrayal trauma and PTSD he gave me, and that continues. A few months ago, at age 60, I joined a dating site. I have gone out with four guys, and since I don't have many friends and was so isolated during Covid, I really enjoyed the conversation, even if I didn't feel any big romantic feelings.

By my choice, I've only had a second date with one of them (and still don't have any strong romantic feelings) - but this weekend he's invited me over and he's making dinner. I'm really nervous. I don't know when it's appropriate to tell someone my story, and reveal how broken I am.

Also, while I was sexually active when I was younger and during the first part of my marriage, the last dozen years were largely sexless, and I haven't had intercourse since menopause. I would love some intimacy, but I'm scared of navigating those emotions and also embarrassed about not knowing what to expect from my body under the covers.

When I've discussed it with my therapist, he's said that when I'm comfortable enough with someone those discussions won't be awkward. But what if I never meet someone for a relationship? I'm ok single but I don't want to die having that POS EXSAWH as my last romantic partner.

I know my situation is pretty unique, but do any of you have advice on how and when to share our ugly stories? Are there any older women out there who have had to deal with navigating their sexuality? (message me if you're more comfortable that way).


16 comments posted: Friday, February 3rd, 2023

dating sites

Can anyone look up a profile on Plenty of Fish?

1 comment posted: Friday, December 17th, 2021

How to get rid of gifts from WH

This is a pretty practical question. Does anyone have suggestions for the best way to get rid of jewelry that my ex gave me? I hate the thought of getting pennies on the dollar for it but I just can't see myself ever wearing it again. I'll always wonder if he gave me the gifts because he was feeling guilty after being with his mistresses.

11 comments posted: Tuesday, October 19th, 2021

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