Wow when you know you know!
It’s like having the fog lift and everything gets clear. I’m sad but I feel calm. I think I was sadder though trying to make it work with no avail and not realizing that it’s of no use. You can’t force someone to love you and you can’t force them to be attracted to you, especially if they’ve steeled there mind against it. I feel sad for the kids 16 & 13, but I don’t feel sad that my marriage will end soon. I guess I’m willing to be surprised between now and the new year if she takes steps to fix things, but I started asking for what I need almost 6 months ago and then demanding it around 3 months ago. With only a little action happening a few weeks ago when I brought up D. I’m guessing she’ll do her usual agreeing to anything in the moment and then as soon as that gets the pressure is off, she’ll just do what she wants to do, as is her modus operandi. There is a definite pursuit withdrawal aspect to our marriage and I’m done pursuing. She can withdraw all the way to hell for all I care now. I’m done, if she wants the marriage now she will do ALL the heavy lifting now. I’m out.
17 comments posted: Thursday, October 12th, 2023
Work Series of Poker Question
My WW is playing a lot of the World Series of Poker (WSOP). She plays some real life poker every once and awhile but she hasn’t been this into it ever. My concern is that the amount sex is drying up and she’s sitting around on her phone, with the same stupid smirk that she used to have when she would text her AP. I’m wondering if anyone known if there’s a chat function on WSOP and if so, can you chat specifically with a member, or do you have to be at the same table as them ? If you have to be at the same table, can you pick who you play with.
A lot of the same things that were happening while she was cheating are happening now. Lack of sex, moodiness and super busy at work. What’s different now though is she works from home and isn’t guarding her phone like she did, but she wouldn’t have to if the chats only came through when she was on WSOP, so that’s what makes me suspicious.
15 comments posted: Thursday, October 12th, 2023
Every once and awhile I come across threads that seem suspicious. They tend to be very fleshed out and hyper detailed, the BS find out we’ll in advance, of the cheating so they are able to mount a drastic theatrical divorce situation that totally crushes and surprises the WS. It mostly happens in threads where the BS (usually a man) take very decisive bold steps to end the marriage and the WS is a complete and utter wreck who begs for the marriage but to no avail and ends up in a horrible situation (homeless, jobless, looks like shit, family hates her, abused by AP or some other calamity where the BS will certainly have a horrible future.
What makes people fake a story? Is it someone’s sick idea if proper creative writing? I know mods have banned people for it; have any of you mods ever asked an offender why they did it ? Are people attention seeking ? Is it a product of Bs who handled their situation weakly and want a story of strength even though it’s fictitious. Or is it (as I suspect) BSers who want to punish all WSers by trying to encourage a swift and similar divorce as alleged in the thread. I also wonder if the threads I’ve suspected as false, aren’t by the same author as there seems to familiar themes and writing styles.
8 comments posted: Wednesday, September 20th, 2023
Clearing up the words that we use, hopefully.
I recently and inadvertently caused some consternation among the admins, on SI, when I asked a few questions on a recent thread. One admin was kind enough to partially answer me in a PM, but the more I thought about it the more confused I became, so I PMed another admin a more comprehensive group of questions and he thought the questions were better suited to their own thread, so they could be discussed. So here they are;
Hello. I have a few questions about definitions of some of the terms we use. I posted these questions on a recent thread and it wasn’t a rhetorical question, but since tone isn’t well conveyed in text, it was assumed that I was being argumentative, so it was not answered in the thread, but my questions were genuine.
The first questions are; what is Cheating? Is adultery and cheating synonymous? I assumed that any agreed upon sex or other relations not done secretly outside of the relationship would not be cheating, but still would be considered adultery in the eyes of the lord. I know this is a religious opinion and I try not to impose my beliefs, in real life or the web, onto others and certainly swinging is not my thing, but it’s a free country, so I certainly respect a person’s right to make their own decisions.
The second group of questions;
Would swinger be considered madhatters ? Would a couple who had outside relations while divorcing be considered madhatters ? Would people who are legally separated, have outside relationships with others, then reconcile be considered madhatters ?
The next question is; does separating mean only a formal legal separation or does it include just verbally saying to do so count ?
Thank you for considering these questions. If I’ve come across as hostile and argumentative, please be assured that this is not my intention.
I haven’t said who the people were who PMed me or I PMed considering the nature of PMs being private, so I haven’t posted names, but feel free to include yourselves if you’d like.
22 comments posted: Friday, August 25th, 2023