Me (33) Husband (32)
DDay1: 01/04/15 Discovered inappropriate messages to other women.
DDay2: 17/08/15 Discovered EA with OW.
DDay3: 21/05/16 Discovered numerous Online EAs.
Broke up for 9 months then reconciled and got married. Marri
Unfortunately I’m back.
Hi all,
Years ago I found this site after my partner cheated on me. We went through the usual rollercoaster, numerous d-days, the lies, etc. eventually he committed to R after I cut all contact for 9 months and we did everything suggested on this site. Our relationship seemed strong and I trusted him again. We even got married 5 years ago.
Within a year of marriage, he was drinking again and becoming distant. I felt like I tried everything to reconnect with little success. I didn’t think he was cheating after all we had been through before but in the last few months, I started to worry that maybe he was.
I finally looked at his phone last week after he hadn’t spoken to me for 6 weeks following an argument about his drinking. I saw an email on his Lock Screen for a delivery for flowers, hoping that it was maybe for me to apologize, I opened it. Nope, of course not, I didn’t recognize the address that he was sending 12 roses and a teddy bear to, it wasn’t even in the country.
I couldn’t find a conversation with an affair partner but I found mention of it in a conversation with a friend. Talking about how he wanted to be with her and didn’t know how to tell me. There was also a few screenshots of the conversation with the affair partner so I know her first name at least.
I am utterly crushed, I don’t understand how he could do this to me again after last time? I can’t forgive this time, I will never allow this man to hurt me again. I’ve met with a lawyer and am filing for divorce. It won’t be easy, I’ll have to give him half of everything I own, he has no assets as he spends his money on alcohol and pornography whereas I’ve been working 70 hour weeks and saving every penny since I was 18. It’s just so unfair.. I’m losing my husband, marriage, my home, my name, my savings and pension and apparently my mental health..
Looking for advice in general but more specifically regarding the divorce papers, I don’t want this to be any uglier than it needs to be. I want to present him with the paperwork myself and ask him for divorce. I just don’t know how to go about that and do I tell him I know about the affair?
Any tips would be appreciated.
7 comments posted: Wednesday, August 28th, 2024
