Newest Member: Hurtandbeyond

Phoenix1

fBS - Me Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs Adult Kids Happily divorced! You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

Creating new memories

* Posting as a member*

I've posted often over the years about how important creating new memories has been for me. This has usually involved traveling to previously tainted locations to create a new, happy memory in order to reclaim that particular trip and/or location.

However, I was recently presented with one such opportunity and I had to put my foot down with an absolute no. Allow me to explain.

My oldest DD's BFF is currently visiting from our old state. I've known her since the girls went to preschool together. As is typical, I demanded that I get to visit with her at least once while she is here. So, we planned to meet up for dinner.

To fill in more background, BFF's mother was one of Xhole's OW. They hooked up and started their sordid A while planning a joint Sweet 16 birthday pool party for the girls. I had moved to our new state (job opportunity suddenly came up), and Xhole stayed behind with the kids so they could finish the school year and DD could have her birthday party. Alas, when the cat's away, the dirty, immoral mouse will play.

Fast forward to our dinner. We started talking about both of them turning 30 next year (and how old they were making me feel), and DD had this brilliant idea to have a "do-over" of their Sweet 16 party, since the memories are tainted with the A (which they both fully know about, hence the tainted memories for them). BFF jumped on board and thought it was a great idea to reclaim the memory. I was about to jump in with encouragement, until she said it.

Keep in mind we talk very openly, and joke about everything (including the A) so this was intended purely as a joke.

BFF said that since this party would be all about a "do-over," this time instead of her mother and DD's father hooking up, it should be me and BFF's father hooking up to even the score, and she would call her dad (he's divorced, too) and get him on board!

Oh, the two of them cackled and howled at their cleverness! I told them (all part of the good humor) if they didn't stop I was going to reach over the table and swat them upside their heads.

Then I had to lay down boundaries and told them that I would do just about anything for either, but banging her father for the sake of recreating memories was not an option.

Seriously, it was funnier than hell and the three of us were dying from laughter.

But that's when I learned there were limits to what I will do to reclaim memories. Kids...

5 comments posted: Sunday, December 13th, 2020

Dipping a toe into old

Not seriously. Just to see what's out there in different platforms since I can look for free without a financial commitment (which I'm not ready to do just yet).

We've laughed over OLD stories over the years with regard to cheesy pick up lines, the infamous unbuttoned "I'm too sexy for my shirt" pics, and even cheesier usernames so I thought perhaps it's a good time for a little laughter again. And now I get to share!

In my browsing I saw several of the unbuttoned shirt pics (one headless, just the unbuttoned shirt from waste up), one pic of a guy's ass (shirtless, jeans, obviously taken in his bathroom), but the best cringeworthy laugh I had was with an online name - Cunning Linguist. OMG, I nearly died. Oh, the wit this guy must possess to come up with such an alluring name that only the most insightful of browsers could *possibly* figure out what he was referring to!! Bahahaha!

Pro tip guys and gals - don't do these things unless you want to be seen as a joke.

So, come on folks! Let's see what you've got to share!

15 comments posted: Saturday, May 2nd, 2020

A lesson in NB

~Posting as a member~

New beginnings are often filled with fears. One of the most obvious being, what if I get cheated on again? How do I trust again? The response many of us give is there are no guarantees with anything, but if you get cheated on again you can take comfort in knowing you survived before, and you have the strength to survive again.

Many of you have followed my own journey. SO and I were a more or less permanent part-time relationship. It was working, or so I thought.

Approaching our six year anniversary something felt "off." He had just lost his father so I gave him space as he seemed to be having some issues dealing with that. Specifically, he asked me how I was able to cope with so much loss and that he was genuinely in awe, given his father's passing. So I knew he was having a hard time (he lived with his father, taking care of him). But that gut feeling was there. Something else was going on.

After a few months (six, actually), I confronted him about "us." I got a lame excuse that, after SIX YEARS, he thought it would be "difficult" for us. I called bullshit.

Doing some sleuthing (since I've had lots of practice ) I was able to determine that he apparently moved on to someone else before bothering to tell me he wasn't feeling it anymore (but continuing to string me along). My gut was right.

And so, taking a cue from my own advice, I am okay. Not my first rodeo, and I'm not in the fetal position like I was after first Dday. I'm disappointed that he did that, and I can clearly envision his mental gymnastics of justification along the lines of, "Well, in my mind it was over so what I did was okay and not cheating." It would have been nice if he had let me in on that little tidbit of essential info, but whatever.

The fact remains he did it, I'm okay, and life goes on. I'm already making some future plans of knocking off a bucket list item after travel opens back up.

So, hang in there everyone! You have the strength and fortitude to survive whatever curveball your NB throws at you.

30 comments posted: Tuesday, April 21st, 2020

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