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Newest Member: Plantlady

New Beginnings :
Am I the only one....

Topic is Sleeping.
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strad ( member #41509) posted at 3:11 PM on Monday, September 28th, 2020

6 years post divorce, haven't dated, and honestly-- I'm just not seeing the point of getting into a relationship again, even if I had the opportunity. Risk getting my heart rippied out of my chest AGAIN? No thanks. I'm finding out that I am enough, and my life is enough, all by myself.

Me: BW, 57
d-day 10/1/13
married to WH for 26 years
1 adult son
Divorced 3/21/14
The cheaters got each other, and I got a life

posts: 103   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2013   ·   location: United States
id 8592092
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DevastatedDee ( member #59873) posted at 8:45 PM on Monday, September 28th, 2020

6 years post divorce, haven't dated, and honestly-- I'm just not seeing the point of getting into a relationship again, even if I had the opportunity. Risk getting my heart rippied out of my chest AGAIN? No thanks. I'm finding out that I am enough, and my life is enough, all by myself.

Honestly, I have those thoughts too. I completely understand the beauty of a good relationship. I don't discount how cool it is to have a partner and what it adds to your life. But am I missing it? I don't think so. I'm happy now. If I were missing it, I'd be pursuing it and risking the inevitable heartbreaks that go along with dating. If I ever start to miss it, maybe that's when I'll pursue it. I've spent a fair amount of my adult life single and I'm absolutely comfortable with just my own company.

DDay: 06/07/2017
MH - RA on DDay.
Divorced a serial cheater (prostitutes and lord only knows who and what else).

posts: 5083   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2017
id 8592223
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Hedwig ( member #74175) posted at 9:53 AM on Friday, October 2nd, 2020

You're not alone, Ellie!

I have absolutely zero desire to date at this point. In the future? Yes, probably. I am also still young and I would like to have a family one day. But right now I love how much time and energy I have to myself. My life is so uncomplicated and I get to spend and headspace on my side hustle.

The desire to have one-night stands is there a liiiittle but even if it weren't for Covid, even that sounds like too much effort, tbh. You have to vet those people too. Dealing with the awkwardness, setting boundaries, teaching someone what you like? Urgh. BOB works just fine.

I do get the 10% though. Sometimes I see couples outside on walks or something and I'd be like ugh, *he* never wanted to do that with me, would be nice to have someone to do that with. But I think that's okay and makes me realize what I do want out of a relationship once I am willing to go back out there again.

Dday - 10/2018
Caught them, EMDR helped
Ended the relationship after false R for 1,5 years

posts: 271   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2020
id 8593705
Topic is Sleeping.
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