So I saw every reply but I wasn't able to respond not sure what the problem is with my account.
I agree with the commenters that whatever she did crossed a line and no married woman should do that. But there are a few things I want to clarify. Her going out for girls' night weekly or dancing on another man's shoulderI never considered that a red line. It's been like that since we were teenagers. Not once did I take offense, and she never gave me a reason to.
Her girls' nights out aren't always hard parties like last weekend. Sometimes she'd stay at one of her friends' places just to talk, go to a movie, visit an art gallery things like that.
So where I am right now I can sense smoke but I can't see any fire. I'm not someone who confronts without clear evidence, so what I'm doing is giving her space while paying attention. She doesn't know I'm watching.
Our schedules are normal managing the kids and work. Sometimes she gets home first, sometimes me. I've picked her up two evenings in the last two weeks. We still do our weekly date night and everything looks normal on the surface. Not once have I caught her being off or different.
Our intimacy is good and we're very active. We were trying for a third kid and both of us were fully in it. I wanted to subtly check something last weekend. I asked her "Soof, should I use a condom if you want, I don't mind... just until you're okay and sure." I played what I had. It was on her what it meant. Her response was "No, I'm sure. I'm all in, so don't bother about that."
Another night I casually brought up that we should both get STI checkups every few months. Her reaction was a bit sharp slightly angry and offended. She didn't engage with it openly and didn't say much. I still don't know what to make of that.
So I've quietly paused the third kid plan for now. If she slept with Marcus or if something happened that night, I don't want to be raising someone else's child by mistake while I still have doubts. I just told her let's push the plan back a few months because my health hasn't been great. She agreed but looked upset. I felt bad about it. But if she ever understands where that's coming from, I think she'll come to me for a real conversation on her own.
About the gala two days ago she told me she got the invitation and asked me to come with her. I'll give her credit for that, it was straightforward. But I didn't say yes or no. I'm not ready to walk into a room with those men — people who were at that villa with her, whatever happened there. I'm just not comfortable with it.
I feel a little guilty about this, but I took her laptop again and checked her WhatsApp and Instagram. With Ines she's chatting every day but nothing explicit came up.
With Marcus they're still in regular contact. Nothing explicit there either, but they've been discussing a fashion project and he's offered Sofia a consulting role. She said yes. I understand she works with men all the time and always has. But this one sits differently with me though I genuinely can't tell if that's instinct or just jealousy. I don't want her to lose a real opportunity because of my own noise.
The coldness is gone. She's back to her normal self. But I can't pretend that nothing has changed between us.
