SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So the former affair partner tried to contact my FWH several times in May. Their affair was just about all of 2006.

Yeah, she is still trying.

Anyway, I sent a screen shot of her attempts to her husband and let him know what she was up to. I never received an answer from the email but that’s that. I decided to make a timeline of the affair and included phone calls, bank statements, and other material. I just had to see it. I’m a historian by the way, and I had to reconstruct the worst year of my life. I just showed my husband the six pages I’d written and he told me new info. That was a blow. I begged him for years to tell me the entire story but he resisted. Now, 18 years later, I got new info.

One: they rode his motorcycle one day and got a hotel all while I was at an overnight school retreat. This was the bike he didn’t want me on.

Two. He still has the jacket and helmet she used.

Three: the times they had sex went up considerably. All unprotected.

Four: she was definitely screwing around with at least two other men while ‘with’ him. And she was still married.

Some of this I vaguely knew but some was brand new. I just don’t know what to do. Just like in May when she tried to contact him via Facebook, I am right back to square one.

Am I overreacting? Any advice is welcome. My heart is shattered. Again.

[This message edited by crazycatlady at 6:59 PM, Thursday, July 11th]

Am I overreacting? Any advice is welcome. My heart is shattered. Again.

You're not overreacting. If this is new info, he trickle-truthed you and this is essentially a new DDay. I'm curious about what made him give you the new info now?

Some of this I vaguely knew but some was brand new.

Are you sure you didn't know? Like you, I'm a long way out from DDay (20 years) and sometimes details will come up that seem new and zing me hard, but then I chew on them or look at old journals and realize that I did know about them, but I had forgotten. And not just minor little details. Fairly big stuff. Trauma recovery is weird.

PS: Destroy the helmet and the jacket.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 7:52 PM, Thursday, July 11th]

You are NOT overreacting. You have the right to your reaction to this newly uncovered betrayal. I’m so sorry, that is so fucked up. Praying for you.

The timeline I made jogged his memory. I knew they got a hotel and I knew he took her for a ride on the bike but I didn't know it was when I was out of town. I also didn't know about the jacket and helmet. I also found out they had sex more than he thought. Great. I think there's more since the timeline has opened up his memory hole.
I didn't know she was screwing a Dr. at work either. She's a nurse and now works for a company that provides medical service to correctional inmates. She was also dating her now husband at the same time screwing mine, screwing a dr, and was still married to husband number two.