I feel like so many times I post here when things are bad. So I wanted to share a "good day" I had yesterday.
A little bit of background is that my oldest son, age 30, is presently unemployed, and next week will be going to county jail for 45 days due to a second DUI. My middle child, 27, has bad issues regarding addiction some concerning psychological issues. He has a good job now, one that he likes, and heās doing well with it. He is cutting out all heavy drugs, and trying to cut down on his alcohol. He is quite antisocial with us at home. He really really doesnāt like me. He adores his father, but since his dad is in the bed 24 seven, they donāt have a great deal of interaction. My baby, 26, is incarcerated, awaiting sentencing for a federal offense.j
Anyway, thatās not the good newsā¦ Thankfully!
My middle son has been sleeping on my couch for at least a couple of years. (He wasnāt allowed to live at the house until he cleaned up his act with drugs and heavy drinking ) He and I are constantly having words about his things scattered all over my living room. I remind him that "This is the living room" and his response is, "This is my bedroom". š¤Ø
Anyway, the reason he has been on the couch is because we have only 3 bedrooms, and H & I have one, and oldest son has another. The third bedroom is a little sitting, reading room - mostly for me. I have decided to give it to him as his bedroom. So for his birthday we promised him a tv for that room. I have been pushing him to get an extra bed at our house put into that room and get it fixed up as his bedroom. I have moved out some of the furniture, and I have taken out all of my "clutter" from in there. But he just canāt get motivated.
Yesterday my oldest, who just months ago had a physical fight with the middle son, was shopping with my sisterā¦helping her with heavy dog food bags, etc.
Now this is where the good part startsā¦ He calls me and tells me that he has found a TV that he thinks my middle son would really like. I said I wanted him to pick it out himself, but he really made an argument for surprising him with it. So he brought it home with him. Then he insisted on setting it up in the room. This room was a total mess, but after I cleaned it out it only has my sons things in it. But itās still a bit of a mess. But after he set up the TV and programmed it, then he told me that we should move all of my sons things to one side so that there would be room to set up the bed for him. He wanted to surprise him. He told me that he was concerned (as we all have been) with my sons antisocial behavior, sitting in his truck playing games on his phone most nights, and that he thought it could motivate him to get his bedroom set up if we got the tv and bed set up. So we did. When my son got home from work, he was totally surprised. He didnāt act all that excited, but he stayed out of his truck and in his bedroom all evening. They had a friend over and the three of them sat in his room and watched some TV and my middle son actually did a little work in getting his room set up like he wants it. To watch them transform from literally hating each other only months ago, to my oldest son stepping up to help him out was just inspirational.
Then ADDITION, my oldest son has begun to drink some kind of non-alcoholic Budweiser beer. If Iām not supposed to use that name, I apologize. Anyway, he noticed that my son, a couple of nights ago, was drinking his little "cocktail in a can" drinks in his truck. So he told him he ought to try some of this new beer. My middle son gladly accepted, and then they had a conversation about how it was non-alcoholic. My son was telling me last night that his brother said to him that he didnāt really like getting/being drunk. He just really liked the taste of it. Plus he just liked the feeling of doing the honest days work, coming home, and popping open a beer. So he has gotten him to start drinking these nonalcoholic beers. My eldest son came in last night and said, "Mom, Iām just hoping that this can encourage him to stop drinking". Iām getting chills just typing this. (I get it that he should probably not substitute a non-alcoholic "beer" for the real thing. That the idea is to divorce yourself from the thought of it at all, but hopefully this can be a first step.)
Then, as if that wasnāt fabulous enough, yesterday I found out that my youngest son has pretty much decided on a plea deal in his case, and it seems to be positive. We are cautiously optimistic that he could be home by his birthday NEXT year (2024). He seems to be in good spirits about it. Also, this means that whenever sentencing occurs, and he is transferred to whatever prison he will be serving his sentence, he gets to have in person visits. That means that my husband and I will get to see him, which is so fantastic considering I have been worried about some thing happening to my husband before my son gets out of jail. But even more importantly, he will be able to see his lady and his son in person. ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
So sorry for the long post, but I was just feeling so blessed yesterday, and I had to share! ššš
On the other hand, last night I had my first dream about my father since his death. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting now 16 years to have a dream about him. So it finally happened. But instead of a sweet dream with him telling me that he loved me, or just doing something fun together, we were sitting on bleachers, and he looked at me and said, "You know, your mother has lung cancer."
Ok, A,
"Why havenāt you come to me in my dreams before this?"
2,
"Why couldnāt this have been a fun, loving, dream?"
And, C, by the wayā¦
"My mother is dead!"
š³š³š³
Sorry for the long long long post.
Yāall have a GREAT day!
