Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Plantlady

New Beginnings :
It’s been awhile... happiness update!

Topic is Sleeping.
default

 Talon2019 (original poster member #70881) posted at 7:27 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

Hi all,

It’s been awhile since I posted here... it’s been about 15 months since my XWH moved out, about 9 months since the divorce was final. While I appreciated the support I got here and it helped me through some of the most difficult moments of my life, I got to a point where I needed to get off my computer and start growing my life through real experiences and new friendships. I have spent the last year really exploring myself and working to develop a life that makes me happy with or without a partner. And I have been thriving! Hot air balloon rides, trips with my mom, trips with girlfriends, exploring new career opportunities... just a few of the things that have been going on :)

In April, during quarantine, I decided to go on a dating site just to see what people were doing. I was feeling a bit lonely after three months alone in my home, and I was curious what was out there. I talked to a few people, but one stood out. This man seemed genuine, had a lot in common with me, and appeared to be looking for the same things in life and relationships. So I decided to take a chance and allow a few socially distant dates. Well, fast forward about 5 months, and I think I may have found a REALLY good one! He is kind, empathetic, caring, fun, a great dad, a healthy communicator. He comes up with creative and spectacular date ideas, in a time where dating is challenging with a pandemic. We’ve gone to drive in movies, spent a lot of time on the lake, refurbished vintage bikes together, and gone camping on a remote beach. He has met my family, and I have met his. I’ve even met his children, which was an honor (he has been divorced for two years and has never introduced his kids to a dating partner).

So... long story long... I am in love! And I’m happy! I’m still a little cautious and always know that if something changes, I am really happy being on my own, but I am hopeful for the future with this man.

I was just thinking about this place today, and how the people here helped me so much when I was in such a dark place... and I thought maybe an update was in order. I’m thankful for the part this group played in my healing journey. Much love! Xoxo

Me: BW 37
Him: XWH 37
Married 2006
D-Day 6/7/2019, trickle-truth for 2 weeks revealed serial cheating dating back to before marriage.
Kicked out WH 6/27/19
Divorce (freedom) date: 12/31/19

posts: 84   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2019
id 8587871
default

Chili ( member #35503) posted at 8:08 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

What a great update Talon! It's so wonderful when members come back to share how they've survived and thrived after infidelity. Good goin' and continue to enjoy all the wonderful things that have come your way.

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2239   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8587894
default

Sofarsogood ( member #71991) posted at 9:01 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

I'm so inspired by your update. This site and the members always remind me that all things are possible!

posts: 352   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8587926
default

twicefooled ( member #42976) posted at 9:14 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

Excellent! Great update that we can survive and THRIVE!! And have a better life than we ever dreamed possible :)

May 29 2021 ***reclaimed myself and decided to delete my story with my ex because I'm now 7 years free from him and mentally healthier than I've been in years.

*********When you know better, you can do better*************

posts: 492   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2014
id 8587927
default

WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 9:34 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

Yay for a great update!!

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4524   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8587934
default

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 9:52 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

How wonderful! Glad to hear how great things have been going!!!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8587943
default

fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 11:21 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

What a wonderful update. It’s great to see things are going well for you. Many could learn so much from your journey. You had been with your ex-WH from a young age and as it turned out he was a chronic, serial cheater. After dday you acted strongly when he wouldn’t commit to giving up his A. Over the next several months, like all of us, you struggled with your emotions, and your narcissist Ex-WH played upon your vulnerabilities to try and keep you on the string.

The neat part of your story is your self discovery. Along the way you came to terms with being competitive and not wanting to lose to the OW troll( I remember your description of OW). You realized you are a fixer and don’t like to let go. You realized your vulnerabilities and recognized how your EX tried to manipulate you to his advantage time after time. IMO this self discovery and growth is what leads to true healing.

Very happy to see you moving ahead with so many good things happening. Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3944   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8587973
default

 Talon2019 (original poster member #70881) posted at 11:34 PM on Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

@fareast thank you so very much! You are pretty much “on the nose” about all of that! I simply redirected my competitive spirit and “go-getter” energy at my own healing journey and it’s been a wild and fun ride. Not without challenges or tough days, but looking back, I am so thankful for everything that happened because I’ve learned so much about myself that I never would have if I hadn’t found myself in a “rock bottom” situation like I did. It means a lot to know that you recall my story and that you truly were in the cheering section. Thank you thank you thank you. :)

Me: BW 37
Him: XWH 37
Married 2006
D-Day 6/7/2019, trickle-truth for 2 weeks revealed serial cheating dating back to before marriage.
Kicked out WH 6/27/19
Divorce (freedom) date: 12/31/19

posts: 84   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2019
id 8587979
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241101b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy