And I don't understand. I feel like I am the one chasing her.
Our relationship feels like a shell of what we used to be. Yet when I communicate that I'm done, that I'll leave if she cannot officially commit to me, she breaks down in tears and begs to stay.
Once I am back, the "I love you"'s turn to "love you"'s. During our relationship she would want to see me everyday. Now we see each other for 2-3 days a week, and barely speak on the rest of the days.
AP is gone. The OBS knows and chose to stay with him. My wayward gf (7 years) broke contact with AP, and she's clearly disgusted by him, herself and full of regret and shame.
So the affair I'm very certain: is over.
I feel like reconciliation cannot be taken slowly. How should I be able to build trust, if she keeps me at arms length, yet pulls me in, once I stray too far? She knows me for 8 years. She knows who I am. She doesn't need to take things slow to figure out if she wants this relationship to rekindle or not. She kn
Distance used to be no issue before d-day. But now, it's making it impossible for me to re-evaluate who she is, what we are, and where things are going. And I don't understand why she either still cannot be honest and communicate that, for her, too much damage has been done OR how she actually feels good with the way things are right now. Because that's what she's telling me.
"I just want to feel our connection without feeling the pressure to make a decision. I believe that's the way we'll come together".
I just feel like her shame, guilt and remorse is convincing her to give us another chance. Not our love, bond and history. But whenever I say that, and I do, tears start rolling and the re-assurance, she loves me, she see's only us in the future, starts coming.
Any input on my situation is highly appreciated.